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What the hell is wrong?!

lovehimhatehim's picture

SS11 has seen pediatricians, psychologists & psychiatrists. Diagnosis = ADHD. Problem is BS12 & SD12 also have ADHD, and medication turned everything around...NOT SO with SS11. We have tried natural supplements, prescription medications, different dosages, you name it we've tried it. At 11yrs old SS still wets the bed (nothing medically wrong). We lived in the same house for 3 & 1/2 yrs and he still needed to be told which was hot/cold for the shower. He is failing all subjects at school, & takes the prescribed meds daily. He lies about everything, things that don't even matter. Which leads me to family history...no mental illness in DH history, BM says she has BPD, but we have linked her "current illnesses" to what is going on with people in her life. For example, the year DH and I married I contracted Mono..within a week BM claimed she had Mono, DH slipped up and told BM I have migrains low and behold BM started having migrains, BM's hubby had cancer...she claimed she had breast cancer (no treatment ever took place). SD12 has strep throat, no exposure to BM, but within a day, BM had strep. My point is, I don't know what to believe as far as what BM claims her medical history is & without a court order for her medical history, there is not way to know. There is something more that ADHD wrong with SS11, Dr's just haven't figured it out yet. Anyone else been in a situation & knew there was more to it and just wanted to know "what the hell is wrong?!"

ncgal1980's picture

Sounds like learned hypochondria with a splash of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy thrown in for fun.

UGH, I really feel bad for you!

There's a similar thing going on with my SS7. He's got problems all right, but I think they're learned (and reinforced) behaviors. BM is convinced he's bipolar. Oh yeah, and BM comes down with every illness that she hears about. According to her, she and the skids are ALWAYS sick with something.

It's tiresome, dealing with people like this. I am so sorry you have to!

lovehimhatehim's picture

I do see a lot of the same issues with BM in SS11, so my question is: If it's a learned behavior, why can't DH & I break him from it? He is with us a lot more than he is exposed to her. Or is it just in his DNA, and there is nothing we can do to change him?

lovehimhatehim's picture

SS11 lives with DH & myself...I have taken him to all the above referenced dr's myself, I think they are just not digging any deeper than the obvious ADHD diagnosis. I believe he is ADHD, but that there is way more going on.

Yes, BM was in required rehab twice last year after overdosing both times.

ltman's picture

Encopreisis is a mental condition that often affects boys 5-14. They soil their beds.

Agged and Fragged's picture

You need to take him for a Neuropsychological Evaluation. It probably won't be covered by insurance but it's one of the few studies that is comprehensive enough that can uncover weird problems and recommend appropriate courses of care. It's not a normally ordered test, you need to seek a neuropsychologist who can administer it.

It's not just ADHD, some form of medication would have dialed him in, there's something else going on with him.

Trust your gut, if you don't feel they're nailing down what's going on with him then find a professional who agrees there's more to be done.

Rags's picture

Sounds like a make it fit diagnosis to me. It is unfortunate that we have a perfect storm of idiot parents, idiot teachers, idiot doctors and an ever increasing number of pseudo science "professional" child behaviorists who have to justify their pay/"professional" existence and who are on an never ending quest to make the next designer behavioral condition that have all aligned to victimize our kids.

Of course there are children with legitimate problems who need the help of true professionals. However, IMHO the majority of the issue is idiot coward parents who refuse to parent with behavioral/accountability based methods rather than my little crotch dribble is special and needs to be allowed to run amok under my free range abdication based immenant failure parenting style.