You are here

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Ruby77's picture

Submitted by Ruby77 on Tue, 07/26/2022 - 9:35am

Forums: 
Step Kids with Disabilities

Has anyone ever dealt with a child with suspected or diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

I truly believe that my boyfriends 11 year old son suffers from this and it is unbearable for me to be around him. I hate to say it but I loathe this kid. 
 

Some behaviours include: 

- Selfish and self-centred to the max.

- Feel that they are entitled to everything they ask for.

- Gaze aversion, where he does not look into the eyes of someone who is talking to him.

- I believe he suffers from some separation anxiety

- he lies about everything

- Believe that he is better than everyone 

- Don’t seem to have any empathy for other people and doesn't pick up on social queues. He is socially awkward. 

- Arrogance

- Exaggerates his personal abilities or success 

- sometimes seem envious of others’ achievements and the things they have or get

- he lacks manners and politeness

- Inability to take constructive criticism and get hurt or insulted easily

any insight or help would be greatly appreciated!!!

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 07/26/2022 - 10:00am

Or he could just be a spoiled brat?  Just because someone doesn't behave nicely doesn't mean that it's the result of some psychiatric disorder.

He just sounds spoiled and I think some of what you describe is a result of so many kids spending a lot more time interacting on electronic devices vs humans.. 

Gabby Haze's picture

Submitted by Gabby Haze on Tue, 08/02/2022 - 8:08pm

I had a stepson a lot like that.  Now he's 20 and pretending to be transitioning.  I'm the only one who sees it's a big con, a result of his wanting to rise above the heap at his liberal arts college.  But, as a previous replier suggested, I "pick my battles." He's making my wife a nervous wreck because now he's made up some sort of "Psychotic Break" condition no one has ever heard of, including my wife, a psychologist.  Yet the charade continues.  Now where's my wine bottle...

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Tue, 07/26/2022 - 10:53am

You will can not change this kid. There is nothing you can do except go to war making BF choose his DS or you.  Either find a way to deal with this, or not, or find a new BF.  There no way this relationship is going to. Work unless BF sends the kid back to his mothers and not see or deal with him 

Yes you can go the mental health routine, go from DR to Dr's   Test to test, beinging told you must do more, ect.  When they know that thay can fix the kid they try to guilt you. And keep you coming for more money. 

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Tue, 07/26/2022 - 11:09am

But at 11 I'm not sure personalities are developed enough to be a full-on disorder.  He definitely sounds like a spoiled brat and could certainly have a budding personality disorder.  I would read up on disengagement and begin to implement.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 07/26/2022 - 12:09pm

and remember.. it is often the messenger who is shot when bad news is delivered.....

If you are looking for advice as to whether those things are signs.. so you can go to your SO and try to convince him poopsie is defective? and needs "help".. ... it's likely you will get a gut defensive reaction from him.. and likely he will be mad at YOU for pointing out  his kid's flaws.

So.. yep.. pick your battles.. deal with the actions that impact you.. not necessarily the possible cause... dad can work his way backwards fixing things.

like if the child steals or destroys your items.. lies to you.. those are things you bring to your sO's attention... or if you can approach it in a caring way.. "gee.. little tommy seems so upset when you leave the room.. I wonder how we can help him learn how to cope with things like that".

Dogmom1321's picture

Submitted by Dogmom1321 on Wed, 07/27/2022 - 9:37am

I have definitely suspected BPD in SD12. Her BM is officially diagnosed. She has many of the same behaviors/characteristics....

- manipulation for her benefit, will go to every length to get what she wants, lack of empathizing with others, believing own lies, very impulsive, can't maintain friendships/relationships due to this, hot/cold relationships with parents, defiant, believes she is the exception to everything...

Even as your SS gets older, a diagnosis wouldn't change anything. There is no treatment or medication for these personality disorders. It is simply who they are as individuals. Of course behavior therapy could help... but more often than not these individuals TRULY believe that everyone else in the world is the problem, NOT them. 

I just make myself scarce when SD is around. Try to just be cordial. Stay out of any drama between him and DH and BM. I don't bring up SD in conversation and honestly, DH just stopped telling me all of the issues that were going on. It is freeing to be detached! 

EveryoneLies's picture

Submitted by EveryoneLies on Tue, 08/02/2022 - 3:18pm

My SS doesn't have NPD, but he is diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. We feel he is likely to fit the PDA subset of the spectrum. (Lies, grandiosity, etc)

I've read that the ADHD part was what caused him to be lying non-stop, big and small. He also got the wishful thinking that if he states thing differently it will make things go away. 

Like others had said, you won't be able to change this boy, the diagnosis won't change anything, and I also feel therapy doesn't change anything. (I very much hope I'm wrong and I truly want therapies to work)

it is sad sometimes.

Flustered's picture

Submitted by Flustered on Sun, 11/13/2022 - 6:56pm

Virtually everything the OP put in is a perfect description of my 44-year-old SD. She on the other hand calls me the narcissistic one and says I'm Trying to project my personality onto her. I have had nothing but hell with her since her BD died. I married my DH when she was 21/I can tell you it will not change. FWIW, I did not have to deal with another mother/ Her BM was deceased. On the other hand? That might have gotten her personality out of whack. The more the time goes on the more I think it has.

walfredo's picture

Submitted by walfredo on Thu, 04/06/2023 - 11:16am

My stepson has aspergers and ADHD, and "mood disorder"... whatever that diagnosis means.

What this has translated into from a functional stand point, is he is the most spoiled child I have ever observed. Everything he asks for he gets without question, he faces no consequences for his actions under any conceivable scenario, and every conversation or activity must be completely centered around him and his wishes.

I don't think that is narcissism in a 13 year old, I think that is what any kid would do if given the choice at that age.