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Disregard for safety of others

Rewtkii's picture

Has anyone experienced step parenting a child with a disregard for others safety in situations?  I noticed this at age 4 but it substantially got worse and now is age 10 going on 11.  Also it seems that remorse is not there.  When she frustrated with something she will throw something and almost hit someone with it but doesn’t acknowledge there is someone near or that she could hurt someone with her actions.  if she does hurt someone the empathy is not present. It’s concerning because I feel uncomfortable around her.  Anyone else experience this behavior?  She is caring also btw  so when this happens it’s like she’s a different person and I can’t make sense of it.  Thanks 

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

Some people need to be taught about impulse control, and be shown alternative strategies on how to deal with ‘a bit of a wobbly’. Sometimes parents saying don’t do that, isn’t enough. 

ESMOD's picture

What does her parent say about this?  It's not unusual for a small child to "tantrum out".. and not be mindful of their actions on others... but the parent's job to help them learn to control their impulses and emotional resoponses seems like it should have had some improvement in this area over the last 6 years or so.  The fact that it has not changed?  what is bio parent doing about it?

Rewtkii's picture

She was diagnosed last year with adhd, major depression,conduct disorder,anxiety.  Her mother prolonged getting her therapy so she lives primarily with her dad now and she is not on medication yet.  Her mom is bipolar and I’m curious if it’s an onset of that.  Respect is something she can’t seem to grasp and it causes problems with family members/relationships with friends too.  I talked with her mom about it early on at 7 years but she didn’t even ask if the boy who got hurt was ok? Kind of dismissed it as her behavior as just being a kid.  And I was in an awkward and scary situation not just one boy but a 2 year old got knocked over and his lip was bleeding.  Dad tries to discipline and he does do his best but there have been times when I would have given a consequence when he didn’t. He loves her so much and sometimes a good learning chance gets swept under the rug. I guess I’m wondering if this is genetic.  Her mom provided little supervision for her and she been able to do a lot of what she wants early in life without answering to anyone.  

SeeYouNever's picture

It sounds like that child did not learn respect and has poor impulse control. It's very possible that it could be from permissive parenting, AKA lack of parenting, could just as easily be some sort of undiagnosed disorder. Kids only get bigger and stronger and what is sort of annoying but controllable in a little kid becomes a real liability in a big kid or an adult if this is not addressed now then it is possible that this kid is going to end up in jail for assault.

Harry's picture

This child most likely is also bipolar she is showing all the sings.  This normally start in the late teens.   She needs help like once or twice a week help. Not once a month.   

Rewtkii's picture

I won’t run but I will tread very carefully.  I protect myself because I am aware. i never leave her by herself and she is not playing with neighborhood kids.  I think when school starts back up things will start to come to a head and also family therapy will start soon and I’m hoping that will help thank you for all of your responses. I’ve never experienced this with any other child.  Her evaluation results did say that she was born with this and when she was born after a year the mother had to leave her with her dad because she was depressed and could handle her.   That’s why I also am thinking onset of bipolar genetics? Anyway thanks.