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? About those dealing w/autism

Flustered's picture

Submitted by Flustered on Sun, 10/16/2022 - 4:16am

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Step Kids with Disabilities

My SD's SO has a severely autistic teen ( as in : will eventually be in a group home). For this reason, they have not married. She is afraid if the do, his ex will walk and she will have kid full time

this SD ( in her 40s) is always angry over everything. We are having hell because my DH died and she's acting like a child taking things here

what's the odds her dealing with a severely autistic teen via SO is probably causing some of the anger/ grief that she's taking out on me? ( I'm thinking 80 % and 20 % grief over her dad)

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Sun, 10/16/2022 - 7:37am

For what she's doing. And in reality, it would take a licensed therapist  meeting with her often to pin point the problem. 
 

Bottom line? Not your problem. Take the time to get her stuff to her quickly. Then keep her out of your  house. Doesn't sound like much of a relationship exists so in future, if she wants to visit snd you are so inclined, meet her at a coffee shop. Again, try not to stress or figure out why she's acting the way she is. Keep your space and life peaceful. 

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Sun, 10/16/2022 - 9:47am

From my perspective as the stepparent of two, one of whom I expect to act like, if not be worse than your SD, when/if their dad dies before me, you are looking for an excuse to excuse her behavior. You need to stop and realize that SD is who she is. When people show you who they are, believe them.

Pack up her stuff. Give her a time limit to come get it. If she doesn't you have a choice -- trash it or hire someone to drop if off at her house.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Sun, 10/16/2022 - 9:51am

It doesn't matter why she's angry all the time. Some people are just naturally angry. It's time you put a stop to her pillage of your belongings. Remember that this is your home and that its contents are yours too. Put your foot down. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/17/2022 - 5:50pm

Your DH passed.  She is no longer a consideration and no longer your SD..  Particularly if she is invasivy toxic in your life.  Her child isn't you problem either.

My condolences on the loss of your DH.

Have your attorney nail her with a cease and decist order and an RO/PO.

Flustered's picture

Submitted by Flustered on Thu, 10/20/2022 - 12:59am

She's toxic

its the SO that has the autistic kid. She'd like to marry once after he's in a group home

my problems with her deal with the # of items her father left her: a garage of many tools. At least my BIL has seen the light and will come and make sure nothing more disappears. ( thank god!) I figure if she walks in, the alarm goes off and cameras already got her recorded. I changed my locks, alarm , door opener and this week added cameras. Ill stay in garage with BIL while she takes tools.  ( BIL said yday he will come sit w/me as she does it)