You are here

Seven Years Since We’ve Seen the Gskids

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Today is my step grandson’s 18th birthday.  I don’t typically post about the gskids, since we haven’t seen him or his youngest sister since September, 2011.

Their mother is both a GUBM and a narcissist who pumped DH and I for every dollar she could get. It was a completely screwed up, one way relationship, and when I finally called OSD out on something cruel she did to her dad, she went ballistic. As with many narcs, OSD has a vicious, win at all cost mentality, and no one in DH’s family crosses her. The change was instantaneous; we went from seeing/talking to the gskids almost daily to zero contact. They stopped calling, and calls to step grandson’s cell phone went unanswered. We continued to send birthday and Christmas cards, but OSD returned them so DH gave up after three years. 

I guess I’m only probing old wounds, but clearly we weren’t that important to the gskids or they would have reached out to us at some point. Their mom was already encouraging the kids to hit us up for $$, but it still surprised me that she was able to effect such a complete change overnight.

Part of me hopes SGS will magically reach out to DH today, but my rational side knows it won’t happen.

Steplife sucks, and the dysfunction just goes on and on down the generations.

futurobrillante99's picture

I'm so sorry that you both have been missing them so much. It may not happen today, but I believe they'll reach out at some point. 

notsobad's picture

Those poor kids are still afraid to do anything against their mother, even as adults. You said yourself that no one in DHs family will cross her, they are adults too. 

As sad as it is, just be thankful that she’s not creating havoc in your daily life. Enjoy your marriage and your own family. 

We don’t know what the future holds. Just be open to the gskids if they ever try to reconnect with you.

SacrificialLamb's picture

As they reach adulthood they can make their own choices about who to have in their lives. Unfortunately they may be very tainted by their mother or have become as dysfunctional as she is. Would your DH consider reaching out to him?

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I don't think so. He was willfully blind to OSD's antics for a lot of years, probably because they didnt affect him directly, but cutting him off from the gskids was a vicious, palpable hit that DH couldnt ignore.

And I should add that we live just a few miles away from OSD, so SGS could see us if he wanted to. His younger sister was always very much her mother's creature, but SGS seemed to adore us.

I did mention to DH that today is SGS's birthday, so the ball is in his court.

Rags's picture

to set up a dinner so they can be delivered. The RETURN TO SENDER stamps will drive some great discussion. 

Once a kid reaches adulthood there is no need to communicate through their other parent. 

So, deliver clarity, bare the BM's ass, and work the relationship directly with the Gskid.

That is what I would do.