How many step-grandparents treat their step-grandkids exactly like their grandkids?
How many step-grandparents are ultra-involved in their step-grandkids' lives? Is this the expectation now? Treat them all the same?
One of SD's teachers called my mom SD's "grandmother" and my mom clarified that she's "a step-grandmother" and then added that she's really only "SD's stepmother's mother, and she doesn't feel she is SD's step-grandmother". SD's teacher reacted like my mom is the most terrible person in the entire world for feeling this way.
My mom has been helping me deal with my almost 18 year old SD and picking her up from school when I can't. SD is in special ed classes and it's a long, complicated story. My mom is an absolute angel who loves helping people, but she isn't close with SD. They don't get along and SD treats her very poorly. My mom puts up with it because she wants to help me out.
SD is a lost cause at school and is so far behind there's no way she will graduate. One of her special ed teachers this year is new and has been battling trying to get SD to do anything (if you've seen my other posts, this is impossible and SD just sleeps in class most of the time).
My mom taught elementary school in the district for over 15 years and she runs an adult reading program at the library. She's not a special ed teacher, but she's worked with kids with reading problems. But the situation with SD is very complicated and my mom's never been involved in tutoring SD and their relationship is so poor that I don't think that would work at all.
I had DH send an email to the school asking them not to talk to my mom at all about SD's school problems since I hate that my mom is now being blamed for SD being the utter failure she is and this might impact how she's seen in the school district because they assume the word "step" is irrelevant.