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Another venture into

Notthedoormat's picture

Steplandia. We have to trek 4 hours for SD's baby shower...she's having another baby with her Neanderthal husband.  But of course they still basically live with BM, so it's going to be almost as fun as a root canal.

Our last trip was less than a month ago and I wasn't too miserable until we went to lunch and BM announces the SGK 2yrs can sit between me and my husband...then she proceeded sit sit across from my DH so she can converse with him and exclude me. Fortunately DH took out his phone and took selfies with me and SGK so I wasn't left with just anti-social older SK as company.

I am mentally preparing now and wardrobe planning. At the very least I will be well-dressed!  

I wish I could really look forward to these trips because I do genuinely love to see SGK, but it's awkward when BM and often skids try to play house while their dad is around.  I try not to be rude, but they have to know what they're doing.  DH wants everyone to get along so he has access to SGK without drama and I try to keep that in mind.

But if an overt word is said, they'll find out I talk back.  I think that's why they try to be discreet so DH doesn't catch on to them....  

JRI's picture

I would hate that, too.  Yes, well dressed and beautifully groomed are the way to go.

Notthedoormat's picture

I can do proactively to make myself feel better,  lol.

I try to be polite and warm, but it's challenging in moment because I think things are going well, then something happens or someone says something I think is inappropriate (BM suggesting we all take SGK on vacation) and BAM! It's like being sucker punched. 


CajunMom's picture

I was NOT given the role of StepGrand. And it was done is a very humiliating way. I've finally come to terms with it (thank you, ESMOD and the other ladies/gents who've given me balanced advice).  While I've not seen DHs kids in 5 years, we are slowly moving towards "involvement" again BUT on my terms. DHs youngest has been to our home twice in the past 6 months....I've not interacted yet. 

While I've been invited to the grands' birthday parties, I've not attended and why would I with the current family dynamics? But there is a birthday party coming up this month for DHs grand that is local. I'm sure I'll be invited but I've already decided to not attend. DH will deliver my "regrets," that CajunMom wish she could have been here but had a prior engagement she could not get out of.

A party equates fun....I have no fun around DHs kids. Think anxiety, stress, rejection, etc. Nah...I'd rather stay home.