15yr old home alone...
I would like to ask advice on a scenario myself and my partner are in; I'll give the background first and question is at the end.
I am living with my partner who has full time care of his son. My SS is 15. The bio mum went on holiday to Finland and never came back, over the last 2 years she's only had him 2 weeks and that was after we suggested and pushed for it. So we never get a break. He doesn't have any family nearby, she doesn't, and neither do I (all from different countries/areas before settling where we are). Sadly we don't have any friends in this area either.
My partner and I have decided to take a short break to a neighbouring country (we are in England and we are going to Scotland, so still UK). Firstly, not sure if you can leave a 15yr old. We think so, but it's really difficult to specifically get an answer on this from Google searches. Secondly, we would worry regardless in case something happens so it isn't worry free (burglary, accident, problem with house etc.). Thirdly, last night we spoke to him about it and he asked to have "people" over. That's a bit worrying as it begets questions like who and how many. The more people, the more risk, the more it gets out of hand. His Dad reminded him there is a camera on the front door, to which he responded, "I will just sneak them in the back door". I felt really uncomfortable about this and have called him sneaky. Which caused an argument between me and my partner as he won't have him called sneaky and is saying if his son was sneaky he wouldn't have said that part but would have just done it. I think it's insightful into his line of thinking and he will find another loophole, like a window.
It caused me anxiety, I am quite ill at the moment from not having had time off in 6 months. In fact the last break I had was a week off from burn out, beginning of December 2022. I wasn't getting any down time because his son shouts on computer games almost every night of the week. I think getting anxiety about a long anticipated break not going smoothly is reasonable, but my partner is telling me that when I've calmed down I should question whether it is.
On one hand, it would be reassuring if he had a friend over, however I am not sure if we can. If something happens to the other kid then could the other parents press charges for our absence?
The other part is that I am uncomfortable with my stuff being here (I have 2 expensive musical instruments as well as my work laptop).
I used to go to friends houses, and I know what they get up to. Jewellery and clothes can get stolen if it's girls. I've seen it first hand.
It's not an insult to his son personally, I just don't want the risk of someone he might not know as well as he thinks coming over and turning out like that.
If anyone has an older mate, they could get alcohol.
As well as just wanting to come back from the only break I can take to a clean home that no one has been rifling through.
Once he is 16 I think he could have a friend/girlfriend over when we aren't here to supervise. Still there's a worry with alcohol and breakages etc. But I'm too worried right now.
Is it unreasonable of me to request a camera on the back door? For this reason alone?
Is it also not normal to have anxiety about going away while his son is home alone and he is asking to have people over?
Thank you to anyone who can manage to read all of this and respond ❤️