Young, do I stay or go?
To be quick because I'm in a cell phone. I am 22 and stressed from work and college. My girlfriend of 8 months has a 5 year old daughter. I only see my gf on the weekends and her daughter is there every other time. I can safely say I get sick of her daughter because she is hyper active, super nice in a manipulating way, and must be entertained constantly. She cannot be left alone by herself for more than 10 minutes, and it is extremely aggraating when I'm trying to wind down after a week full of work and school. She smiles and drags you away and makes is very hard for people to say no to her, even her mother, in a frighteningly affective way. This has been bearable until now, because it's been killing me with over active happiness instead of hatred. You should just see how the other kids at the park just stare at her in awe of her endless energy as she runs by every kid, talks to them for 10 seconds to 10 minutes and runs away to the next person. Oh yeah, getting her to go to bed is a fight every night too. She goes to bed so late that alone time is hard to find around the night. I think she has ADD but I would never suggest medicine for such a thing unless it gets insane.
Another important thing that has become apparent during this first vacation together is what I will have to put up with everyday instead of every other weekend if I take this relationship to the next level. I feel very uncomfortable telling her to shove it and find something to do on her own, let alone just act normal and goofy with her when I feel I have the energy in front of my parents, as I curl myself up emotionally when I am around them(for various reasons). On this vacation... I wanted it to be a break from my normal life but this kid, along with my parents are making it very uncomfortable for me, and I feel like I will never be able to have it the way I want with my gf in this situation.
So I ask this to experenced parents and step parents: does it get
better? I'm still young and want to feel morefree then this, but I realize I'm going to have to give in to a life style like this in the future anyways, so should I just wait it out for a few years?
I'm sure there is stuff I missed that would help to get my points across but it took too long to type this one my phone as it is. Any advice would be appreciated.
You're the only one that can
You're the only one that can answer the question whether you stay or go.
I'm 21, and married to DH. I have 2 ss- ss6 and ss9. I have days when I feel so sad and exhausted because kids are a constant! They are always there, and they generally need something! And you're right- time with your girlfriend will never be exactly how you want it. My DH is fantastic about telling his kids to go play, or go do something, and putting them to bed early. But- the fact of the matter is that there are still times when the last thing in the world I want to do is get up to them first thing in the morning, or finish work and listen to them talk incessantly for the next two hours until DH comes home. But honestly- I think that every parent has moments like that!!
But- I love my husband more than anything, and I love my SS as if they were mine (Much as they drive me crazy sometimes!!) I think my life is awesome- busy, noisy, crazy and sometimes hard work, but awesome. It can work, and it does get easier. But only you can know what will work for you.
I guess the problem is that
I guess the problem is that I still have 3 years left of college before I can even think about settling down and marrying, so I Have plenty of time to live it up and find someone who fits my life style better, but I'm hooked emotionally right now. This is so draining and I've felt like crap all day. I know there is a problem when I have to take a drive to get away during a vacation! I think it's time to call it quits.
Think long and hard.....
Hi Youngandunsure,
I have been a step mum for 5 years now. I love my husband very much. However, being a step parent is very difficult and that's the honest truth. And I am also a bio mum to two grown kids myself. To be honest further, I don't really like my step kids much at all - they annoy the crap out of me a lot.
After all that, I wont just tell you to run a mile - if you really love the girl stay with her, but the kid is not going anywhere, so you have to be able to deal with that.
Good luck in making such a big decision - Just remember it is YOUR life.
A Step parent is in a no win role
x
x
You need to get out before it's too late!
You are twenty something and have your whole life ahead of you! Enjoy your college years and have fun! Being a future stepdad while you are in college is NOT FUN!
You have plenty of time to be a dad!
"And this too shall pass..."
I'm 19 with a 9 year old skid.
I've known her since she was 7.
GET OUT OF IT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
There are some people who are lucky enough to have better their lives with their skids, but in my own experience, my SD has become brattier, more demanding, more annoying, louder, etc.
If I had the chance to look into the future and see what it was like as a step mom before I married DH, I would have been gone before DH could say will you marry me?
It is truly a nightmare, especially with work and school. I work full time AND go to school full time, and let me tell you... with a skid, it doesn't help with the stress!
Try reading some of the blogs... read about Crayon, Hopeless, Endora... their experiences might persuade to run.
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss