Tried everything we can think of...
SS is 6, other SS is 5, we live in an apartment complex, last week one of the other buildings had the outter smoke alarm going off and DH and stepped outside to take a look. SS's were happily playing in their room, we hollered to them that we were simply stepping out side to take a look. Everything was fine, no one was in any danger, & fire dept was on the way, so we turned to go back inside and out runs SS's. SS6 is absolutely flipping out and bawling, SS5 is just along "for the ride" & is completely fine. We explain the situation and tell them everything is fine. We even later walk past the building which had the alarm sounding and show him that everything is fine. But since then SS6 is glued to our side and refuses to have play time without being in direct eye sight of us, & freaks if we try to go into our room with the door closed while he is awake.
Its to the point where we aren't sure if he's really having an issue that needs to be addressed, or if its behavioral for attention. We've tried talking him through it, telling him its okay, answering all of his questions, talks about fire safety and what to do, we've tried encouragement, we've tried being patient and giving him extra love, we've tried discipline, and everything in between. I've even tried a more unconventional approach of holding a crystal in his hands and sitting with him almost meditative and telling him to put all the bad thoughts and fears into the cryatal and then we washed the crystal. Its turned into more then just about the fire, now any time we try to get SS to go play and be kids, SS6 refuses and SS5 is completely fine but now is whiny because SS6 won't play with him. SS6 has called from the school office 2 times already today trying to get me to pick him up because he's scared. The office ladies helped me convince him to go back to class.
I personally am getting exhausted and am not sure what to do.
Don't do anything other than
Don't do anything other than act as you did before the smoke alarm went off. If he freaks then let him pitch a fit until he passes out. Tell him you are not going anywhere and that he will stay where you tell him to stay including school.
A few melt downs followed by passing out with exhaustion and waking up fine and he should reset.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
I understand you pain
I understand you pain slightly . SD used to not want to sleep where we were staying when in their home town to visit them. Too scared. Throws up until BM comes to fetch her. Now they live in our home town and it's reversed. She does not want to stay with BM as is too scared to sleep. Odd! It's insulting and exhausting. I think the more you talk about it and notice it the worse it gets. We play it down and it seems to be forgotten. Maybe try make light of it or think of it in a funny way... Might help. You got to laugh a little more , don't over react, about anything. Calm is good.
My BD7 had a crippling fear
My BD7 had a crippling fear of garbage trucks. She and her grandma had to once (according to Gma) rush out of the way of a garbage truck that was barreling down a narrow street. BD would have a complete meltdown whe she'd see garbage trucks, or even hear a loud, larger truck. It was completely ridiculous to me, but very real to her. Nothing would convince her that the danger wasn't real. I finally reached out to my local waste management company about the situation and asked could I please bring her for a little tour of their yard, in the hopes of laying her fears to rest. They were more than happy to help! We were greeted by the owner of the company, who took us out to talk with the truck doctor (mechanic), and they let her climb up into a truck and everything. After that, her anxiety seemed to lessen and lessen, and now she can see and hear the garbage trucks with no fear or anxiety.
My suggestion is that you all contact your local Fire station and explain the situation and ask if you can bring SSs in for a tour and to talk about different things that happen when alarms are pulled, etc, and how they are there to keep people safe and to not be afraid.
I totally feel your pain/frustration. Sometimes kids get ideas in their heads that seem completely ridiculous to us as grown-ups, but their fear and anxieties are very real and can be terrible to deal with. Let us know how it goes.