Thunderstorm "Oh daddy...its my fear!" (ugh..gag!)
SD10 has a fear of thunderstorms. Yup...I get it. It used to be that she would see a cloud and start wimpering. This "fear" came up only last summer.
Last night we had a thunderstorm. So in the end, DH and SD10 slept together in our spare room in the basement.
Irritates me to no f*cking end.
He used to sleep with her when she had a "stomach ache" or whatever a few years ago. Back then she loved him to sleep with her...and guaranteed everytime I'm away from home, she sleeps with him..still does.
Yes, I've learned, for the most part, to let it go. Not my kid, not my problem. If he chooses to coddle her...so be it.
But...still....irritates the hell out of me. My goal today, is to put the irritation behind me and move on...(however..these parenting choices make me have less respect for him...that remains).
What irritates me the most about this honestly...is the way it looks. "Oh, you can't sleep...we'll sleep in the basement so you'll feel safe...to hell with Brightside...she can be left alone to die by herself upstairs should lightening strike the house"...an exageration? Yes. But its a continuation of that underlying issue of being...."them and me". Them first...and then me included if it so fits their life. (obviously..this goes deeper than a thunderstorm).
So...f*ck them. Time for me. I have to remember to live my life for me. Do things for me. Make me happy, for me. And let them wrap their lives around me, and not the other way around.
whew vent....this felt good.
Oh, BrightSide, I totally
Oh, BrightSide, I totally understand. SD6 follows DH around like a sick puppy she even stands at the freaking door while he's in the bathroom. He used to co-sleep, but he quickly learned that Poison is NOT happy with ANY other females in her bed!!!!!!!
I suggest telling him how inapprpriate this is. Find some articles on the damage ofco-sleeping, especially at the age of 10, and most importantly, tell him how its affecting your relationship, mainly YOUR, ummmmm, desires. I bet he'll get to thinking.
Poison...all very good
Poison...all very good suggestions...but been there done that. I tried suggesting things to him...and it worked...somewhat....but it took a long, long time.
It doesn't happen all the time anymore. I'm trying to be the new me who thinks..."don't stress over what doesn't affect me directly".
Venting here is just a much safer forum than telling him what I really think of him in the moment. Better to come here..vent...cool off...then realize, I don't really care how you parent your kik.
wow, i wish i could be as
wow, i wish i could be as lucky as you, before me my SO and SD5 were together 24/7, no BM and he didnt work, so they most likely slept together all the time, now he has a third shift job and only has her two nites of the week, she sometimes asks to sleep with us but i put my foot down on that, she has no reason at all to sleep with him, its simply daddy lets her, daddy wants her to and they sleep together all nite, she sleeps perfectly fine in her bed all nite. But when i am not around he will tell her excitedly she gets to sleep with him that night then bring her to his bed once he goes to sleep. So i say you are lucky its not your SO who is the one that needs it...it has gotten so bad for me that now he basically doesnt want me to stay over a certain night because "he hasnt gotten a nite to sleep with her in two weeks"and whatnot, now that hurts me
ick. When bio-parents are
ick.
When bio-parents are married and living in the same home, does a normal dad sleep with his kids? Nope.
We don't have a co-sleeping issue anymore...but we have the fake thunderstorm fear with SD7. I mean I don't blame a kid for being scared in a full on thunderstorm. Scares me even a little. But if SD here feels like getting attention sometimes she'll even ask her dad (who by the way is a weather nerd and listens to his weather radio several times per day) if there is rain in the forecast and start going in to her whimpering about how scared thunder makes her, even if the sun is shining. On a cloudy day for extra attention she might roll into a ball on the floor or under a chair and whimper.
Poison is absolutely right.
Poison is absolutely right. Actually, this all sounds way too familiar to me. SD had her shit all over his room and toys all over the MASTER bath, even though she has her very own bathroom. I cleaned up for family coming into town and got rid of all of the shit that hadn't been used in God knows how long. SD tries to sleep with SO because of "nightmares" but I set him straight today and there will be no more of that. I'm the only woman sleeping in our bed. Further, he bought a king size in the first place because back when he was with BM they PLANNED on cosleeping. EUGH. Sorry, but I have a sex life that I enjoy.
Rant away, we're here for you.
i finally told my SO if i am
i finally told my SO if i am going to be paying rent then this is my house too and i will not put up with being kicked out just because you want to sleep with her, you guys can spend time together when you are AWAKE. The BM has even told me that because he allows it she wont sleep in her own bed there, she keeps having "Nightmares" and had one yesterday and SO wouldnt listen when i tried telling him it could be an excuse to sleep with her, he went on to ask SD5 about the nightmare and yet she couldnt say anything about it....before that we hadnt had a problem in a few weeks, until yesterday she asked to sleep with him and then today she asked when she will get to sleep with him next and he said he wont have her overnight until next week so she asked if she could then and the fucker said sure!!!! i have been trying to be nice, i work extra shifts so they can have alone time, i bought a tv to put in the bedroom for us and i offer all three of us to cuddle in bed until she falls asleep. i am just waiting for the day when she starts having nightmares here or being afraid of the storms just to have an excuse....