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SS With Dyslexia

annabanana's picture

I have a 11 yr old SS with moderate to severe dyslexia, ADHD, and some speech issues. I have been literally begging my husband to get the boy some help, but to no avail. It's been obvious to me since he was 3 that he needs some help - speech therapy at least; but has received none. Well, now he's 11 yrs old, failing in school, has no friends, lies constantly about everything, and is being absolutely spoiled rotten by BOTH his Bio-Parents. It seems that my husband feels sorry for his son and continually defends the boy's right to not do his homework, not pick-up his stuff, be self-centered, rude and deceitful. This kid has his own personal maid (my husband) and never lifts a finger. His Dad cleans his room for him every week, does his laundry, buys him candy every day and allows him to not do his homework or allows his sister to do it for him. If I say anything at all to that kid my husband comes down on me like a ton of bricks - right in front of the little brat. Am I crazy or are we creating a monster here? Does anyone have a situation like this? This boy is running the show and he knows it, but Daddy can't see it. He is taking advantage of the situation. My husband is completely irrational where his kids are concerned. He thinks his son is just a little kid who needs to be protected from anyone who may ask him to pick-up after himself or question his lies. Does anyone have any advice? How to handle the boy or the Dad? I have currently removed myself from any situation involving this boy, but it has only empowered him more.

need2vent's picture

First , I know your rights with son's teacher (or doctor)are not where she can communicate much if anything to you BUT have you thought of asking her to meet with you knowing you would be doing the talking, express your concerns and ask for their support to make sure parent sees what the child needs.Ask teachers advice for ways to help at home and have her write them down so DH can have a visual(men need visual )
Candy and ADHD are like giving a cok addict his fix, you can find ample support on the internet regarding this , print it off and high light it an dlet your DH know you are concerned due to caring about the child(even if you are being driven insane and are scare dhe will end up your problem, this would be totally normal and rational thoughts ) I am just hoping if you keep approaching as concerned or if he has shut off to you figure out how to get others to point it out to him, our DH so often hear others when they don't her us! LOL
The doctor could casually ask how son was doing in school , comment that she noticed some attention issues and suggest he be tested. OR a note from a teacher (which they are not able to diagnos legally) but can point out concerns for his age. Maybe it would finally get through to him.
How frustrating, I have seen this so many times. This will sound strange but fortuantely my son was everely effected by autism, his dad had to see it , but we did get him what he needed and I dare anyone to distinguish him form his friends now, he went from severe mental retardation score to well above avaerage, and yes still occasioanally has needs for help with this or that but will always get it.
Dyslexia is not well worked with in majority of school sysytems so that scares me as well for you

IF you need advice regarding the laws I am not as sharpe as I was but remember many of the basics that help out and get more effective support.
Good luck and God bless.

"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard