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SD18 going to family therapy

Shieldmaiden's picture

So, following up on an earlier post - SD 18 had agreed to go to family therapy later this week. I found out from a call her dad made to her this weekend that their BM took the kids to the beach for a week. This is BM's annual beach trip and the kids usually enjoy tagging along. SD said she was coming home the same day of the week as the appointment. I asked DH to call her the next day and  confirm that she remembers she committed to the appointment and ask if she is making sure she will be home in time for us to pick her up for the appointment. She said yes. I also re-sent her the appointment pickup time and date. I have not recieved a text response to either notifications I sent, one a week prior. 

I am hoping for the best but worried that SD18 will use her mom as an excuse or her mom will sabotage SD18. BM was made aware of the appointment time last week.I have a strategy in place for consequences if SD does not get home in time to go with us. This involves turning off her cell phone services until she goes to the next appointment. I have not told DH because I think he would cringe at real, actual consequences for her actions. I am done waiting, though. I have waited years to get her to accept some sort of help and possibly be diagnosed. It is clear there will be no improvement until she does this, so I am on my own. 

caninelover's picture

SD24 (then 22) wanted us all to go to family therapy.  Then was a no-show for the first appointment because she forgot.

You've reminded her but unfortunately can't make her go.  I know you're anxious to get her a diagnosis and some help, but forcing her with consequences probably won't work.  She has to want help.

Rags's picture

all toxic bullshit manipulations.

My first marriage was a continual battle with "I don't know".

When my XW finally answered "I don't know" when I asked "Do you want a divorce?" I finally had a starting point to engage marriage counseling which turned out to be awesome for me.  It built a box around her bullshit and ultimately she walked out of our final marriage counseling session, after 6mos of counseling, and a few weeks later she walked out of my life. Giving the greatest gift immaginable. My life free of her toxic whoring crap.

32 years post divorce, "I don't know" spoken during a tense relationship period gives me some anxiety.  Nothing demilitating, but... definately a gut check.