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punishing a 1 year old

Outside Looking In's picture

I'm the SD in this situation, we were visiting the grandson, for his 1st birthday, and as any 1 year old will do, will touch things he shouldn't, as in this case he started to smack at the Christmas tree. So his mom grabbed him by the arm and spanked his naked butt, stating "NO" quite loudly.

10 minutes later he tried something else, and she grabbed him by both arms, and was saying "NO, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU"

my opinion, she has anger issues, maybe I can look the other way with the spanking, but it was the arm grabbing and the look in her eyes when she was speaking to him.

unfortunately, the 'father' my wife's son, said nothing and almost seems in fear of her. We both agree that if we say anything, this is ammunition for her to limit visits with the grandson and keep trying to cut ties between mom and son (my wife and wife's son)


tweetybird74's picture

This woman sounds like she has some serious anger issues and has no idea how to deal with a small child testing the waters of what they can/can't do. She obviously dealt with this totally wrong. Personally I would say something to her. The next time you see this happen. I would simply and quietly say to her that scaring/hitting a child so young is not the way to deal with it. Any child care provider will tell you at this age distraction is the best way to deal with a child touching things, doing things they should not be. If she freaked out like this over touching the tree I would hate to see where this could escilate too. Poor kid

Newstep's picture

Horrible!! SD came over last night with our grandson. She asked me if I thought he was old enough for handslaps?? He is 7 months old. I said absolutely not!! He needs to be told no if he is going towards something that may harm him but handslapping is too much. She agreed but was upset because her BM slapped his hands because he was crawling in an area he was supposed to be in. SD told her not to and she told SD she will do as she pleases with her grandson because she has raised 3 kids :? :? :?

keepingitreal's picture

As I said in another thread, my brother "spanked" my baby niece, I whooped his ass...its abuse..the child isnt learning anything she is just relieving her own frustration. Question is options, options are 1. find a "safe" person to talk to her, but she'll prolly take offense and get pissed. and 2. call cps anonymously and let them figure it out or get to now her name as I have a feeling she is going to be getting to know them ALOT better with the path she is taking......

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

One year olds have not reached the developmental stage where they can make a connection between physical pain as a repercussion of behavior. They are just not there yet. I learned that in my developmental psych class. So tell her to stop beating her baby.