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Ok, I need to know, is it ME, or is it THEM?

Optimistic Soon to Be Step Mom's picture

Me: Raised as a single kid, only have one kid, don’t want more, not too picky about cleaning or stuff but I do like my SPACE and my PRIVACY, and I don’t like people touching my stuff it drives me batty. And I expect to be treated with respect and manners, I mean, you don’t have to be all formal or kiss my butt, but I mean good old’ common decency like please, thank you, keep your voice down kind of thing because that’s the way I treat people. I don’t even yell at these kids and God knows I should! Recently I have been getting sick of their behavior and I tell their dad to do something about it, and he kinda rolls his eyes sometimes & says I’m too picky or strict, that I want everything my way or something like that

Stepsons: 10 and 5, hyperactive, fight about every 5-10 minutes, don’t like to share, talk back, don’t do what they’re told to do without a fight, whiney (my head hurts, my shoulder hurts I sh*t you not something always hurts on one of them) CUSSING, and they RUN through stores like monkeys!! I mean like at top speed running through the store giggling like they do at the park.

Last time I took the 5 year old to the store he was running around like that, I gently (yes gently) pulled him aside and explained to him he cannot run in stores like that because 1) the store people get mad and 2) he will get hurt. One minute later he’s running again and sure enough, he trips and falls, gets a bruise and his stupid BM will probably want to know why I let that happen. Uh huh.

Is there a serious lack of parenting that their parents are not doing? Do their parents need to be b*tch slapped or is this typical behavior for two boys at this age???

Optimistic Soon to Be Step Mom's picture

Yep, I think you're right, I'm def. an introvert and I'm not gonna deny it! The time out thing is a good idea, the only problem is the kids are so defiant that if he tried it they would scream and holler the whole time and would not comply with the timeout. I seen him try, it's like they fight back and win. It's so frustrating to watch the kids have all the power like that :/

Agged and Fragged's picture

Short Answer: Permissive Parent(s). No rules enforced/lack of consistency creates kids who manipulate and generally act like rude little maniacs.

Auteur's picture

*****THIS******!

In short it's NOT you. I am convinced most kids today are entitled, pitied and treated as pets. No responsibilities, no expectations. Parents fault!

Your FSSs sound exactly like the biodad I have lived with for eight years' kids. I'd run now! It doesn't get any better with guilty permissive parenting (guilt stems from feeling bad that biodad doesn't live with them 24/7 and/or afraid of "losing" kids back to the BM)

Optimistic Soon to Be Step Mom's picture

Dead on, I think I'm going to print out an article on "permissive parents" and give it to their dad for christmas this year. Hah.

Auteur's picture

Why wait till Christmas Lol by then it will be unbearable. Here's a link to get you started: http://parenting.families.com/blog/permissive-parenting-an-overview

Also google John Rosemond

Of course be ready to hear--if you don't have children of your own: "you're not a parent; you don't know what it's like" which is code for "don't you tell me how to parent my child."

I see you do have children so the guilty daddy will say: "you're not the perfect parent" or "your kids aren't out curing cancer." or "my kids are DIFFERENT!"

Kilgore SMom's picture

Yes, you hit the nail on the head. The parents are not doing their job. You will see that alot on here. DH and I had the same problem. Until I had a fit, now ss doesn't act crazy in public any more. We had to set rules and boundries. That was 3 months ago. Things are alot better know. I'm just like you said your are. I would say that I'm strict. I believe that you should only have to be told once or twice. Children should have manner and use them. Thank You, Please, Yes, No. But DH is very passive so and got away with everything as a child. The kids these days don't respect authorities of any kind.

oneoffour's picture

" Boys will be boys" OH PULEASE!

I get that boys are different to girls but even the most mentally challenged child can be reined in. No, you are not out of line. In fact my words would have been more like "Either you STOP running in the store or I WILL take you home. You will NOT run like that again. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND? Good. Now lets shop!"