I would tell him I love him, but he should not sign anything until after a patnerity test.  

I agree with STaround. Paternity test is a must. 

Right now all you can do is be a bystander. They should do some counseling together. Not only therapy but financial. There is still time to make choices. Whether that is to continue the pregnancy, terminate or start the adoption process. There are many very open adoption choices. 

What are their prospects for college? Have you guys spoken to her parents yet? Have the kids said the "M" word? They shouldn't rush into marriage if they are talking like that!! 

My DH had his oldest at 18, it was really hard. He was also the only parent in SS18's life. BM was a druggie and DH was military. SS was a one night stand that didn't go as planned. I get that this girl and your son aren't like BM but things change, especially with young moms sometimes. They get jealous of the life they never had.

If they are against abortion, adoption is a great option. Lots of families looking for a healthy newborn.

My daughter had her first child at age 17.   Finished high school with a diploma, started a 2 year college but never finished.  She made some seriously bad choices down the road and now has 3 kids, but only raising one.   

They can grow up and be successful but let me tell you, it takes LOTS of family support and money--from both sides of the family.  Be prepared to pay for everything.   Clothes, diapers, insurance, etc because if the girls family is not supportive and they kick her out--it's on you.   Your son has to resign himself to staying home with a crying toddler with poop running down their leg when all his buddies are out at the bar.  Raising babies is easy, toddlers and 3 year olds are rough!  It gets real old, real fast.......

I would also advise a paternity test--mainly because the county will require one for them to get Medical Assistance or food stamps and because the first time they have a big fight after the baby there will be hurtful accusations thrown around and the test kills that arguement straight away.   Not saying the girl is a slut, but MAYBE she made a bad choice one night and some heavy petting with another guy went too far.......

There are colleges offering daycare. Your son's situation isn't unheard of. There is also the option for online degrees, which are cheaper and allow time for family responsibilities.

You probably can't drive their decision whether to have the baby and/or put it up for adoption. Be sure you tell them there's no shame in either decision, if that's how you feel. Shame drives pregnant people to have kids they don't want. But on the plus side, having a kid no longer means you can't pursue college.

That said, degrees take a long time and focus. And a lot of money. There are other options that might land them jobs faster -- trades are desperate for people now and many companies pay for all education/training if they work for the company.

Personally, I wouldn't want my kid having a kid this early in life. I think it makes their staying together an unlikely long shot. That means another broken family and we all know what comes with that. It makes them feel they never had a childhood, even though they willlingly gave it up by getting pregnant. That sometimes means they head off track when things get tough or boring.

If you don't want to end up raising this child, it's important you sit them down and tell them they will be parents in 8 months, not you. They need to know your expectations and boundaries. Frank talk might help them decide if they're up for this. Don't sugarcoat it. Explain how expensive it is and that partying and freedom is over for many years. But also tell them there are ways to do with their lives what they originally planned, but everything about it will be much harder.

Something else I would mention is that they will never be like all the other kids at college. They might have trouble dating if they break up. They won't have the carefree lifestyle others do and others might not be able to relate to them easily. In time, that will change -- as they get older and more in their age group have kids, but it will be a long while.

Two options.

1) Terminate the pregnancy.  I would have a 34yo if my first college GF had made a different choice than  the one she made.   My 48yo brother would have a 32yo if his HS GF had  made a different choice than the one she made. Neither of us have any regrets on the choice our then partners made.  I do have an occasional though extremely rare thought that my life would be very different but other than that... it isn't something that enters my mind.

2) Create a burning platform with forced emancipation and they launch. 

Or...

2.5) You continue to let THEM suck off of the parental tit to some extent.   If they are adult enough to make a baby they are adult enough to step up, work and support that kid and to finish growing up on their own time and their own dime... mostly.

Or.

2.99) Adoption. 

My 43yo bride had SS-26 when she was 16. My ILs helped by buying a rat hole travel trailer and plugging it in to the end of their house and that was it.  Though pressured by the school administration to leave HS for the alternative school for pregnant teens she refused.  She worked nearly full time in the evenings at the local DQ.  We visit occasionally with her former DQ owner/boss when we are visiting my ILs.  He is very fond of my bride and loves to use her as inspiration for the young people he interfaces with. One of his favorite stories about my bride is how she went from being a PITA teen to his most diligent and best employee literally over night

The parents of one of her BFF's  were foster parents and watched the Skid while she was in class and worked.  The SpermIdiot was of marginal help (he was a 22yo lazy landscaper gang-banger wannabe of little use and should have been in prison as a serial statutory rapist).  She graduated with her class with honors and went on to a dual major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and is a successful CPA.

My parents married at 17 (Mom) and 19 (Dad) and had me at 19 & 21 respectively.  The three of us grew up together.  They lived in a travel trailer when I was born.  Dad was in the USMC.  They have had an amazing marriage and life together.  Finished college, had three boys, lived and worked around the world, and have been best friends, lovers, equity life partners, parents and GPs for 56+ years. 

This doesn't have to be a tragedy. 

This is the ultimate test of character.  Your son will either prove his character or he won't.  It is not for  you to dictate which he will choose or for you to force him to do the work to make happen and less so for  you to do it for him.  Based on my discussions with my FIL I would caution  you to be very careful about raising your son's kid while you finish raising him.  Put a foot up his ass and the ass of his breeding partner and help adulthood slap them in the face full force.  Be measured in how  you support and  help and keep that help and support focused not on making it easy for them but on forcing them to immediately grow  up and adult.

My bride stepped up. The SpermIdiot... not so much.  He went on to a stellar under age breeding partner career and had 3 more also out of wedlock spawn with two more baby mamas.  He has lived in SpermGranny's and SpermPappy's rental property rent free for 20+ years, they paid every penny of his CS obligation for my SS and raised his younger three SpermIdiot Spawned half sibs in their home without help from their POS waste of skid crotch puke while paying CS for Spawn #2.

Their favorite past time is bitching about how they can't retire and how unfair it was to have to pay CS on my SS when my bride and I didn't need the money.  Zero recognition that they dropped a useless waste of skin crotch turd then facilitated his statutory rape career.  They occasionally make a run to guilt my SS into sending them money to help support the youngest 2 SpermIdiot spawn.  He just laughs and ignores their crap.

Don't  be like my Skid's SpermClan. 

Might I suggest a rat hole travel trailer in your back yard?

Good luck... GrandPa.

My daughter was pregnant at 16. Finished high School and went on to college. She and the baby daddy eventually broke up. Support them as much as you can without doing too much. 

When teenagers are allowed to date at 14, parents should understand that this is the possible outcome.

My DH was a teen father, and paid dearly for it. He married his girlfriend, and found himself a divorced father of two by 21. I wish his parents had done a better job of teaching him and compelling him to be a hands on parent but they didn't, and he never really developed parenting muscles. Life was very hard for him as he struggled to get an education and build a career while supporting his kids. He was perpetually poor for over 20 years. It was hard for his ex too, and for his kids as she struggled on welfare, moved often, and had several unsuccessful relationships.

This is NOT an ideal circumstance, or one I would wish on any teen. It's an economic gamechanger, especially if the respective grandparents aren't able to help much financially. Love is not enough, IMO. These kids simply don't have much to offer a child, so I hope the adults in their lives encourage them to consider terminating the pregnancy or adoption.

They need to know all of their options and what life is going to look like for them if they decide to keep it.  Unless grandparents pitch in heavily and help raise the child these two kids will struggle working menial labor jobs and probably relying on family a lot. 

Are you, your wife, and her parents willing to pitch in, be the village and help raise this child through babysitting and monetary help or will the young couple be expected to do it on their own?  Be realistic with yourself and with your son.  There are resources availble but welfare benefits are constantly getting cut and Section 8 is nearly impossible to get into in some areas.

Tell your son right now that if he and she decide to go through with this he'll have to man and plan up.  Life as a child is over and he needs to be responsible.  

I'd also offer to pay for an abortion, just put it out there as an option.  

What kind of life these two will have is totally in their hands.  People who have common sense, a good work ethic, and a commitment to building a good life can overcome unbelievable odds.  Others without those attributes somehow can manage to screw up every opportunity no matter what gets handed to them on a gold platter.

At their ages their core being is pretty much set.  I have a friend who got pregnant in high school and married the boy.  They have now been married over 55 years and truly are one of the happiest couples that I know.  I've known them for many, many decades - the wife and I went to grad school together.  They are both just such lovely people. (and very, very well educated and successful)

The only preaching at this point would be how they could be SO STUPID not to use birth control.

I got pregnant at 18 and my husband was 17. I finished school, went to nursing school while I worked part time. My son is now a biochemist with his PhD. Nothing about any of it was easy but my parents stepped up and helped us just enough so we didn't starve and reminded us along the way how lucky we were to have such a smart kid. We lasted 13 years as a couple. Not too shabby.