Losing it!!!
al Discussion
Soooo...I may loose my mind soon. For four years I have dealt with a pissy ex-wife in my life who has declared she lives only to make my husband's life "a living hell". Lately she is doing just that. Ever since we married and he stopped sending her add'l funds for $90. child haircuts, Disney World funds, meals out, having the mother's dog groomed, etc...she has been dragging him back to court for frivolous items. Her last attempt was for more child support, you see it seems he was erroneously paying her $60. extra each and every week for 12 years...and now that we applied for a mortgage, the loan officer uncovered this error in what he pays and what his court order required...so now she is fighting tooth and nail for more money. Well, gladly, she lost. This is just the tip of her iceberg. The constant Jerry Springer style antics of humiliating her own daughter (my step-daughter) on facebook, berating my husband in public and even threatening to punch him in the head at a soccer meet, etc....is driving me over the edge. Sadly her 12 year old daughter has recently started lying to cover her mother's trail, lying about her homework not being done, refusing despite my husband's pleas to call her father at night. She has called him once in 7 months. Unless she is with us for our weekends, she blows him off entirely...wait, unless she wants money for things or to secure a playdate on our weekends. I am ready to pack-it in, she is disrepectful to others, ignoring many hellos of friends and relatives and refusing to thank people for treating her to things even when I request she do so...I simply get in response ignoring or an "I'm all set". What am I to do. I love my hubby, but my 2 grown children would NEVER be allowed to be as manipulative, deceptive and outright rude as this child is. My husband says he is trying to remedy her and the ex wife but he NEVER puts his foot down. Example, he was going to take away her electronics only to see 30 min. later she has her laptop "to read her book on"...what???? Ugh. Help!!!
I use the bare the ass of the
I use the bare the ass of the toxic opposition approach myself. If BM wants the kid to have $90 haircuts then tell her to get off if her ass and earn the money. The kid needs the same message. Set the standards of acceptable behavior for the Skid and apply consequences if she fails to comply.
Thank you, agreed. The issue
Thank you, agreed. The issue is complicated, as you suggested with the "earn the money" comment by a BM that has always worked part time, filed 3 bankrupcies, owes multiple debtors thousands. She wants what she cannot have as she refuses to bust her butt. I work 2 jobs to pay for the nice home we have and my husband diligently works his to do the same.
Thank you for listening and validating that BM needs to take care of herself and use CS for what it is designed for and DH needs to be stern and hold both accountable.
Enjoy your day,
Unless there is additional
Unless there is additional stipulated support in the CO then DH should provide only CS to BM for support of the Skid(s). When they kid is with him, he can pick up those costs but on BM time, CS is it. Period!
IMMHO of course.
Dupe
Dupe
All this over $260 a month?
All this over $260 a month? Seriously?
If it's been $60 a week, month after month for twelve years, one gets the impression it's been quite a while since CS has been reviewed and has never been raised.
If your mortgage loan makes or breaks on $260 a month, I'm going to suggest you can't afford what you're looking at. What are you going to do the first time the washer or dyer goes out and your vehicle not only needs new tires but serving too? A loan officer is pouring over the custody order? That's really having to dig deep.
Meh, whatever...
Our PEW (Psycho Ex Wife) was
Our PEW (Psycho Ex Wife) was a Jerry Springer style psycho. We did get a restraining order, but she doesn't read stuff because she doesn't feel anything applies to her. But what really keeps her away is our video camera. Your husband should bring a video camera to all public events she might be at, and record her antics. He should completely refrain from participating, but he can politely ask her to go away. If the video camera alone is not enough to scare her off, he should file a restraining order and use the footage as evidence. Look up BIFF Communication for your text and email needs. She will be angry and ramp things up. Just keep ignoring her. Her behavior is inappropriate and harmful to the child. There's nothing she needs to say to him that can't be said by email.