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Kids diet

Dadsgf30's picture

Hi all

new here so if I’m in the wrong place I’m sorry but looking for some advice. I think my bf is feeding his kids too much. I can’t comment on what they have when with his ex as I don’t know but I feel the kids are all a little big for their age and from what I have seen from him feeding them their portions are too big and they have too many treats. Don’t get me wrong, there is some control in what they eat and he does balance their diet but if it were me I would reign in the portion sizes and cut the snacks a little. 

The issue is I don’t think it’s my place to address it with him? Any ideas or advice would help.

TIA

Areyou's picture

It’s a difference in lifestyle. DH and his kids eat a lot of food and big portions. They also eat unhealthy food. I like whole clean foods and small portions. Before you get deeper into this relationship think about these things. I wish I had. 

Step-girlfriend's picture

I deal with this. It might not be my place to dictate, but it literally drove me so insane that I had to speak up. Skids were drinking all the soda they wanted every day. SO unneccessary! I somehow got my SO to stop buying soda for the house. He was resistant, but now will preach to skids about how they don't need soda kept at home. When we go out somewhere to eat they are allowed soda and they guzzle it like they haven't had anything to drink in a week. I keep my mouth shut about that because I figure I'm not going to win it all.

As for snacks, if it was up to my SO he would let them eat what they want, whenever. I buy most of the groceries, and I set the rule that after dinner, you get a dessert, but no snacking after that. Also, during the school year, a somewhat healthy snack after school like Fruit or a granola bar, no junk food. BM feeds them crap constantly. Unlimited soda, fast food and hamburger helper, and the snacks she buys them for school "snack time" are just plain junk food, while most of their classmates are bringing fruit and healthier options. It drives me insane.

If it weren't for the fact that I buy most of the groceries and seeing them wolf down junk food pisses me right off, and I am unable to keep my mouth shut, I would probably just chalk it up to a loss and let them do whatever. Serving smaller portions should not be a huge deal. Why the need to overfeed them?

Aniki's picture

In the beginning, I tried talking to my DH about the boys drinking a ton of pop. He was too busy being a Disney Dad at the time. Until the day he went to get a can after taking them home, only to find that the two of them had gone through 30 cans in 45 hours. That's right. THIRTY CANS between 2 boys. The next time they were over, DH told them they were allowed 2 cans a day. "Whyyyyyyy?!"
"Because I said so."

BioHo felt sorry for them and would stop at the convenient store and buy them each a 64oz fountain drink. DH refused to let them have any pop until the next day. The boys thought they'd be clever and suck down 64oz in that 15-20 minute drive to our house and hide the cups in the trash. DH isn't that freaking stupid. He finally told them that they could have 2 cans on Saturday and 2 cans on Sunday. They could drink either water or milk on Friday nights. They were PO'd. Oh well.

Step-girlfriend's picture

OMG. 30 cans??? That is ridiculous! And then slamming a 64oz in 15 mins just so they can get more. What is the obsession?? I drink like 2 sodas a year so I just can’t relate.

Aniki's picture

BioHo raises her offspring on a diet of fast food, junk food (hot dogs, chips, sugary cereal, store bought cookies/snack cakes), premade chemical-laden frozen crap, and sugary drinks. They're all addicted to sugar.

Step-girlfriend's picture

BM pays for none of skids school expenses at all, but has somehow made it her job to buy them boxes of junk food as their snacks for school. She alternates between Little Debbie brownies and Oreo dunkers (which are not filling whatsoever and are pure sugar). On top of that skids have their lunch dessert, plus after-dinner dessert, and at her house- more packaged brownies, desserts, and soda after school.

SD9 just had to have teeth pulled because they were rotten down to the roots. Yet nothing changed. Unreal. What are these parents thinking?

Aniki's picture

Why, they're thinking that they will be the FUN parent and the skids will luuuuurrrrrvvvvv them for it!

I've seen pics of BioHo's kitchen. The counter and tops of the shelves were laden with Little Debbie snack cakes, Chips Ahoy, Oreos, Twinkies, 2-liter bottles of pop, countless family-sized bags of chips. You could not see the counter under all of that crap.

4 of her 5 kids are overweight (only 2 are DH's). Every single one of them has acne.

  • SD25 looks like raw bread dough and feeds her 2 kids the same crap (baby daddy has moobs)
  • SD22 (more bread dough) has a double muffin top, thunder thighs, and got the YUGE 'Ho boobs
  • SS19 was pudgy with a flabby gut until boot camp.
  • PigPen15 was a butterball until he grew 8 inches. Now he "just" has a marshmallowy spare tire.
  • Spawn10 looks like a mini SD22. Yep, she has the 'Ho boobs, too.
  • 'Ho herself is about 5'2" and weighs about 250 pounds. (DH said she's gained at least 100 pounds since they split.)
  • Mr. Pinhead is 5'8" and looks to be around 300 pounds or more.

Step-girlfriend's picture

So gross. At least try to be healthy a little bit, especially when you're teaching kids those same habits!

Aniki's picture

C'mon, now, be real! 'Ho is a narcissist and her children are extensions of her. If she teaches them healthy habits, how can the be just like her?? Her oldest daughter has followed in 'Ho's footsteps: teen mother ('tho she didn't manage to get knocked up until 16 - 'Ho was 15) and a drunk. SD22 lost her virginity at 14 (yeah, late bloomer...) and recently developed a taste for alcohol - as long as it's disguised in sugary sweetness. I expect that Spawn10 will be a teen mom, too.

Maxwell09's picture

Not your battle. There will bigger hills to die on than what he is feeding his kids....such as always taking them out to eat spending mutual funds, depending on you to cook what they like all the time, expecting you to cook multiple meals per meal time, etc...He is doing more than some here already simply by providing them food himself. Silverlining.

Dadsgf30's picture

Wow compared to what some of you are going through I think it must be a breeze for me! I’ll leave it to him for now and then maybe feed in more once the move is done and I am involved in the shopping and cooking. Atm I cook only for us and he does the kids food as they rarely eat what we do

Rags's picture

I am a nearly  38yr T-1 diabetic.  I struggled with my bride's eating habbits, and my own,  for years.  Basically I need a low CHO diet and would prefer that the high carb crap to not even be in the house.  Part of the struggle for diabetics is severe cravings.  It took decades for her to finally get on board and keep that crap out of the house.

Since then combined we have lost nearly 200#s in the last few years and are far more healthy.  She has reached and maintained her weight goal and looks like a super model and I am far less fluffy though I am  still ~65#s above my goal.  It is still comming off though far more slowly than it was. I have to up my fitness game to get to my goal. 

When we married nearly 24 years ago we were 185 (me) and 125 (her). At our peaks we were at 325+/- (me) and 255+/- (her).  Today we are at 245 and 145 respectively. I am 6'1" and she is 5'10".

As someone with a genetic metabolic disorder I cringe when I see fat kids whose parents are shoveling crap down their throats and who pile mounds of food on a kids plate (except leafy salads... I eat bales of leafy green veg...).  While I completely understand and struggle with food crack myself.... as a parent I would not jepardize a child's life long health by letting them turn into a plump turkey under my parental watch.  Aside from a short period of plump in my mid 20s during my nightmare first marriage, my struggles started in my 30s. Until then I was lean, fit and extremely active so even my disease did not cause me any issues.   Being a HS and college athelete into my early 20s didn't hurt.  Then adulting hit and I lost the plot.

Fortunately, according to extensive medical tests, I have not caused myself any major dammage and I have rediscovered the plot.  Keeping up with my bride is helping too.  For us... it took a team effort to change our life style and our quality of life.

This topic is a big deal to me.  If my parents had not adjusted the entire family's eating habbits upon my Dx I would likely be dead at worst or severely disabled at best.   I am  blessed to have an incredible life partner who is willing to align with my dietary needs.

Kids should not get a choice but to be healthy and active. Good parents make sure they are.

IMHO of course.

lylamorris's picture

I'm new for this forum as well and I think this is the right kind of platform that you have chosen. Kids normally do not need to diet as an adult does because kids are still developing and growing. during this age, kids need a quality of healthy foods to keep their bodies developing properly. some kids are overweight, but even overweight kids often can recover their health simply by having nutritious vegetables and being more active. You can suggest your BF that he should follow the proper diet for kids and this is the right time to follow that because kids are on their developing phase.  

lylamorris's picture

If you're worried about the kid then must tell your bf about it and discuss it. He also feels that you care about his son too and he definitely likes it. Apart from these if you don't want to say it directly then give him a company when he went for a regular checkup with his kid and if dr. says something just listen to it carefully and plan everything for the kid with your bf and then your problem get solved. The kid will get an appropriate meal and you and your bf feel happy for it.

Dogmom1321's picture

I used to try to help SD with choosing healthy foods and options. She constantly eats JUNK and HUGE portions.

She has been cooking more in the kitchen lately. The other weekend for breakfast I made scrambled eggs and she wanted to make bacon to go with. I told her that was fine as long as she cleaned up. And make sure to cook it all since there isn't a resealable zipper. Guess what? She ATE it all! An entire pound of bacon (no eggs). Barf! I usually save the rest that lasts a WEEK. We use for BLTs, add to other meals etc. Nope, not with SD10. Pound of bacon down the hatch like it's nothing. 

I used to care, but it's her that is getting the cavities, so why bother? Also, BM doesn't cook and constantly eats fast food. SD complains about being fat (she's not, just unhealthy), but I FEEL like saying "quit shoving your face with junk food 24/7 and maybe put down the iPad! That would help!" *eyeroll* 

JRI's picture

My parents were both raised during the Depression and it marked them.  Altho Mom served healthy food, the rule was you had to eat some of everything served and clean up your plate.  I now think of this as obesity training because it keeps the child from sensing "that's enough" and eating too much just to "clean up the plate".  

My family struggles with weight issues.  My 300 lb+ sister died with one of the factors being Pickwickian syndrome where her obesity contributed to her ventilation issues.

I know my folks would never have dreamed that their rule, which prevented waste, could have contributed to her eating issues but that's where they started.

failuretolaunch's picture

How old are the kids?

I often wonder about some of my daughters and sons friends. They are around 10 and a couple of them are very large, so I wonder what they are eating. It is very rare for children to be large if they are that young but it can happen even if they don't eat or are active.

Personally I think having overwieght children is a form of child abuse and social services should be involved in some way. When a child is twice the weight they should be at a certain age to me signals bad parenting. A child ony wants more food because they have been given everything they've asked for instead of 'No, you've had enough biscuits, you've had enough sugar, you've had enough food, have some nuts or some fruit.'

Anyway. Maybe mention it once 3 times a year, but at the end of the day it aint your problem unles your partner is spending all his and your money on excess food/junk.

Katherchill's picture

Me too. I saw so many kids who have issues with their weight. But this isn't something to make fun of because it can be a problem from born. Getting an advisor is a good idea. I would also look into some over-the-counter vitamins and drinks as a good alternative to cut your appetite, at least. At least they can try looking for a website and forums which can improve their lifestyle. Everyone has their preferences and choices. So, I had the same problem, and I just used https://medicalweightlosslehighvalley.com/ because it's worth it.

failuretolaunch's picture

Depending on the relationship you have, you can try to mention something out of concern. Out of curiosity, is your partner large? There is a girl in school in my daughters year, the only large girl. She is 11 and very very large for her age and that doesn't look like it is slowing down. The mum is small and very portly too. I think to myself what is she feeding her, is she keeping on top of the biscuit cupboard or allowing her to have massive portions. Personally I think it is child abuse if you have an 11 year old who is massively obese, which she will be obese for her age and size.

It's not okay for health and when they get to a certain age where they become body aware that's going to cause issues too and it's too late then because they have an unhealthy relationship with food. If my kids get hungry I offer them nuts and raisans. They of course get sweets, lollies and crisps e.t.c but it is limited because I am in charge because they are kids, otherwise they would devour crisps and biscuits all day.