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Is this inappropriate? ³

StepOnMe101's picture

I came home from work today to find DH & SD10 wrestling on MY bed. I personally find this to be inappropriate at her age. I mentioned it making me uncomfortable to DH and he immediately went on the defensive. SD also likes to cuddle up to DH on the couch with her legs entwined with his and frequently has him rubbing her feet. (Mind u when I ask for a foot rub the answer is usually no.) SD is always messing with DH, rubbing his head, even picking at his ears or trying to pop a pimple, or rubbing his shoulders and scratching his back. It makes me feel so icky to watch! Particularly because these are things i as his WIFE does to/with him! I've also noticed SD trying to walk between my husband and I in public and rushing to grab his hand to hold before I do. She also acts very needy when at our home constantly needing Daddys "help" such as starting her shower and brushing her hair when at her moms house and grandmas house she independently functions and doesn't act like a 5 yr old. I know my husband would NEVER violate or abuse his daughter i just think he doesnt realize there comes a point with a little girl & her daddy that boundaries need to be in place. Am I overreacting thinking this behaviour should come to a halt?

silentnites's picture

Great advice above..Nope, your not overreacting. One thing is clear, men are stupid in some situations. Women see this crap a mile away.

elcamino67's picture

I am going thru the SAME THING, right down to the hand holding! My SD is 15 tho! She will be 16 next month!! I have tried to talk with my husband about it but he gets defensive as well. I tried to let it go thinking I was over reacting but then other people started to make comments as well and I was like ohhhh k I'm not crazy lol. My hubs acts like his kids hung the moon and do nothing wrong but it is getting worse. She sends him text like " Your always on my mind and when I think of you I smile" I honestly feel like the other woman when she is around. I wish I had an answer for you but I dont, other than your not crazy and it is weird! Do you think maybe if we just start to walk away when we see these things they will take the hint? Honestly I dont think for my situation at least that will work bc they are probably happier when Im not around lol good luck and if you find the answer to this I am all ears!

Yellow glasses's picture

Yeah, and on top of that a pre ten jumping on his lap, holding hands all time, dad rubbing leg non stop and laying there legs in the air inapproapriately. All this is suppose to be cute

Dogmom1321's picture

DH probably thinks it's cute and sweet. It's not. It's gross, inappropraite, and makes others uncomfortable. Mini-wife syndrome. Look it up. 

FannieB's picture

Yeah, I would be uncomfortable as well.  I put a stop to the wrestling here this past year.  SD is 9 and SS who has pretty much raised her is 17.  I told them both at the same time, together, that she is now to old to be doing that.  She could get hurt!  Though true, I focused on her getting older and developing, sensitive area, etc, etc., thus making it inappropriate.  SD was usually the instigator, so she had to understand, it is time to stop.  Your case sounds like you have a jealous SD.  One of my step-granddaughters was similar with her dad at that age.  Drove my daughter nuts too!  She's since moved out at 18 and still has him wrapped around her finger.  Still drives my daughter nuts on that too!  


Rags's picture

Time to give DH clarity.

As for the pushing between you, end that shit now. Tell her to go to the other side and hold his other hand.  You are his wife. She isn't.

Also inform him that the bed is YOUR marital bed and she has no place in it, and he has no business having her in it with him.

A toddler needing some comfort and occassionally crawling in with their parents is one thing. A 10yo is something else entirely.