Fed Up and Bio-Mom is Too
I'm new here, but not so new to stepparenting. I am married to my wife, together we have two of our own biological daughters, ages 2 and 4. My wife has three children from previous relationships. Two girls, ages 19 and 13, and one boy, age 11. I've been their stepfather for probably 6 years now and had nothing but problems with the stepchildren. Her stepson is the biggest problem at age 11 and has been since I met him. He's stolen stuff from our landlord in the past and caused us to get evicted from a house. He has a problem with showing his genitals to his siblings thinking it's funny. He steals from kids at school, he steals from his mom and I. He's hit his mom out of frustration. He constantly lies to both of us. He's probably the worst kid I've ever met in my life. His older biological sisters also have a bad habit of lying to us, and breaking things in our house and hiding them saying "oh it went missing." I wasn't the best child, to be honest, but I did know how to lie and not get caught, so when I'm being lied to I can tell immediately, my wife, on the other hand, can't lie to save her own skin and can't tell when she's being lied to. I got home this evening and I about lost all patience and my temper because last week I caught my stepson on hidden camera beating my dog for no reason, also on that camera I caught my stepson and middle stepdaughter (the oldest no longer lives with us) arguing about a chair being broken. When I asked them about it they both lied to me, three separate times, saying, "we were just playing pretend." So I get home from a friend's house with my two biological daughters, my stepchildren were with their mom (my wife), so I decide I'm going to go take a look around in their rooms and see where they broke my grandfather's chair. I look in the closet and there it is, broken in half and barely held together. Of course, it being my dead grandfathers chair I'm livid, then I get to looking around and the light switches and outlets in their rooms are broken in half and there's a hole in the door and the wall. So I take a picture and send it to my wife. Normally I wouldn't be so bothered by this, but they've been doing this to every house we've lived in. I just bought this house last September with my inheritance. I spent every dime I had moving our family 1,200 miles to our new house because we got kicked out of the last house we were in because they wouldn't stop destroying everything. Six years I've put up with this BS and my wife doesn't discipline them, doesn't know what to do, she's had to send her son away to family twice because he almost burned our last house down burning matches in the garage next to a gas can. He's back with us again and still doing the same stuff. I'm done with it because I've tried being nice, I've tried being mean, I've given out butt whooping, and they still lie, steal, and trash our house, and my wife doesn't know what to do, she can't send them to live with family because nobody wants them around. Grandparents can't stand em, the biological father doesn't want them, they have burned every chance anyone has ever given them. My wife's only proposal for a solution is to take them and move out and get a divorce. Which would financially cripple me because I'm disabled and can't work unless it's work from home. I love my wife but her kids have done nothing but cause us problems for the last 6 years. Marital problems, financial problems, evictions, police visits, calls from school. I'm so fed up with it that the smallest incident happens and I'm ready to put my fist through a wall. I'm also tired of it because my two daughters see their behavior every day and think it's acceptable, and they see me pissed off and at my wits end every day because I've dealt with it for 6 years, day in and day out while my wife just sits there shrugging her shoulders and not attempting to correct their behavior. I hate it, I don't sleep at night, I have high blood pressure, I'm practically a ticking timebomb and I don't know what to do. I don't think anyone does at this point. I'm stuck paying for a house I can't afford by myself and with a wife who's only solution to fix her unruly kids is to get a divorce.