Expectation guidlines for visiting Skids?
Do you or your SO sit down with SKids when they come to visit and discuss expectations and rules for your home? I think we need to start doing this b/c I am now needing to "re-guide" a very impressionable DD4 not to say classless words and act disrespectful like my SD11 did when she was here. I have got to be honest and say I completely gave up this visit--I had zero energy to guide SD11--I just went along and counted the days, hours, minutes and seconds till she left.
Also, I am 100% against the clothes she came here with. I was humiliated to be seen in public with her b/c there is NO fully developed 11 year old who should be wearing shorty shorts (as our 4 year old says) with zippers up the sides. Way too suggestive IMO. I understand very short shorts are the style now, but they are not for our home and not a good example for our daughter.
Ideas? Thoughts?
Damned straight we
Damned straight we communicate and enforce the household rules. Though my Skid does not visit he lives with us full time except when on visitation with the SpermClan.
I think in your case that young lady (SD-11) would have had some smoking butt cheeks and been standing in with her nose in a corner until her behavior complied with houshold expectations.
If you do not approve of what she is wearing then give her a choice. Go change or stay home alone. 11 is old enough to spend a few hours home alone IMHO.
Best regards.
There are PLENTY of rules in
There are PLENTY of rules in my house. SD9 is out of control when she is with BM does what she wants, sees whatever she wants, listens to what she wants, wears what she wants. I give her till she's 12 before she's giving it up to the boys in the neighborhood. In THIS house, she does what I say, when I say. And quite honestly even her own brother says she has 2 personalities. She's one person when she's here and she's a whole other person when she's with BM.
I honestly could care less, as long as she does what she's told and she doesn't test me.
I strongly suggest getting a
I strongly suggest getting a copy of the Steparents Bill of Rights. Its very helpful & was well thought out.
And where does one get a copy
And where does one get a copy of the Stepparents Bill of Rights????
Step-parent Bill of
Step-parent Bill of Rights
1-I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
2-People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives or husbands, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
3-I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
4-I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
5-I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
6-I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
7-Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
8-I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
9-My husband or wife and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10-Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.
Thank you...I can see that
Thank you...I can see that 2,3,5,7,8,9, have already been addressed and still cause issues.
SS & SD were told by BM that they don't have to listen to me at all. I finally told SD that I wouldn't take her anywhere with me because she does not listen or follow any instructions. Had to tell DH that I would not be held responsible for a child that I could not trust and would not listen to me at all. SD manipulates and lies about everything, even a babysitter we hired for one day said she would never watch her again. SD was 7 at the time. Can hardly wait until she is a teen!