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disrespectful step kids...where do I go from here?

lost@home24's picture

Sad
Okay so I have 1 child 6 from a previous relationship. He has 2 children SD 11, ss8. All of them live with us. Me and my fiancee have been together for 4 years in a couple of months. In the last year things have gotten bad in our house hold. SD has kneed me (in private area and left a bruise) her father did nothing, as yells in my face (within inches) once again father does nothing. The kids have no respect for me! They are constantly back talking me, yelling at me, saying they don't have to listen to me BC I am not their parent or because me and their father are not married. It is now to the point that I don't even want to be around them BC I already know what it is going to be like. I should be able to be happy in my own home and I have not been in quite awhile. Any time I say anything to their father that he needs to step up and control his kids I am just being a b**** and that not all kids are perfect like my daughter (she is far from perfect but I raised her to listen to and respect adults) . I'm at a loss.. Do I stay and continue to be brought down physically, mentally, and emotionally by all this? I mean if he isn't going to correct their behavior what am I suppose to do? I don't feel it is fair for my daughter either..I wish things were different. I really love their father but when do u say enough is enough? This isn't the half of what goes on in my house just giving a brief explanation. I was raised to respect any adult I was around and apparently these children have not been!!!!

hereiam's picture

Disrespectful step kids?

Disrespectful fiance. That's the problem.

Willow2010's picture

Do I stay and continue to be brought down physically, mentally, and emotionally by all this?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ummm...how would you answer this if someone else asked this question. You are not married and this is a terrible example for YOUR child. Your BF is the problem here. Get out before it gets worse.

Evil stepmonster's picture

I think enough was enough when the girl assaulted you and the dad did nothing. She's only going to get bigger and stronger and now thinks physically attacking you is no big deal. And maybe it isn't to him. Same with the boy, he's screaming in your face, no doubt he's spit on you while doing so. Did you know that if a person spits on you, reguardless of whether it was on purpose or not that is a felony assault charge? If his father won't do anything to correct it, maybe the cops would. That's the first call I would make if it ever happened again.
I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if it were me, I would pack my stuff and my kids stuff and get far away and fast. This man has no respect for you, his children have less than no respect for you and as they get older it will only get worse. Both of those kids are older than your daughter, and eventually (if they haven't already) they will focus some of their hateful behavior on to her. Right now, she is looking at you for protection, if you care not for your own please consider her well being. Get out, find a man who truely loves you, and will honor you like a real man should.

Evil stepmonster's picture

It's a double edged sword for me. If I was single and trying to date a man with out kids he would never understand why I can't pick up and go out on a moments notice. Why every night of the week I have a jam packed schedule with afterschool practices and games or concerts. He would get fed up with it and I would get fed up with him for wanting me to drop everything kid related when ever he says.
On the other hand, men with kids understand, but then there is the BM, and skids to deal with. I still don't know which is worse. lol

Disneyfan's picture

If you don't require respect from your fiancé, why do you expect his kids to respect you? :? :?

Rags's picture

As soon as you indicated that your SD has assaulted you the solution becomes easy. Pepper spray, hand cuffs, and dial 911 to have the cops come take out the handcuffed trash.

I have zero tolerance for this shit.

Inform your idiot fiancé as the cops drag off his hogtied spawn that he either gets his kids under control of he and they will be out in the snow immediately. Call the locksmith and have your doors rekeyed when your DF goes to pick his violent trash spawn from the jail and let them all freeze their asses off for a night or two.

Do not let any of them back in until your DH has clarity.

The problem is your fiancé and until you jerk a knot in his tail his spawn will not gain clarity.