Hello all, I'm new here so I hope I don't ramble too much for you all but I tend to get a lot of thoughts in my mind and ramble them all off all at once }:) .

So, I've been with my BF (boyfriend) for 3 years now and, he has a "couple of kids"...I've just finally met them about a month ago because we live about 2000 miles from them. Everything was going great until "she" came into the picture.
You see, I thought I'd only be meeting his son, seeing as how he told me he only had a son with his ex. And while that remains the truth, he also takes "responsibility" for a daughter that was in the picture before he came along and married the BM of his son. BF and his ex were only married about 3 years, so for the girl he was only in her life for the ages 1-4. Why has BM continued to hold my BF responsible for the girl (yes, even CS is paid to ex for the girl on top of his CS for BS and no, adoption did not happen) to include visitations with ex step grandparents. Isn't the situation weird?

So thanks to the weird situation, I was uncomfortable the whole time that bratty little girl was around. She's 9, and apparently knows everything there is to know about everything. She was rude and disrespectful to my BF the whole damn time she was visiting, but he turned into this guy I’ve never met before and she had him wrapped around her clammy little finger, so he’d give her anything she asked for. Then my BF got all pissy when I was separating myself from the situation by "facebooking" my sisters and ignoring the brat. I played innocent and told him I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong, and I'd try to be "more involved and stop ignoring them" and he says "good, because I don't want her (exSD) to bad mouth you to her mother". :jawdrop: I really couldn't give a flying fk what her mother thinks about me, because even if we get married, I won't be the girls SM, and you still won't be her SD so why the fk should we care about what she thinks or feels about us. (Naturally I didn’t say any of this; I’ve never been good at speaking my mind when it’ll cause confrontation)

So after this stressful and I feel wasted day spent pleasing this little "princess" I was stressed, had a migraine and was ready to load up the car and drive home without even meeting his son. I figured the situation would only get worse and I knew I couldn't handle another day of being the odd person out, being treated like sh*t and having to just knuckle under and smile. I even had my getaway bag packed. But then the bf shows up with his son. This kid was great; BS is 6 and a wonderful example of a boy who will grow into a gentleman. He was super sweet and respectful of me, and kept complementing how "pretty, and cool" I am because I play video games. Even my BF was getting jealous because of how much bonding we were doing, I told BF I couldn't wait for his BS to come out and visit this summer, and he mentioned exSD would be coming out too.

At this point I was ready to shoot him in his face. WTF, who just drops that kind of bomb on someone, “Oh hey, btw it's not just my son coming out to visit this summer, but also my exSD because I don't want to hurt her feelings so she gets to be treated the same/better than my BS.” Naturally, I just smiled and said "ah, that's great..." :sick:

Seriously rethinking this situation I’ve managed to get into, I’m 25, he’s 27 and I would like to have kids of my own someday. It's bad enough that I have to "get used to" just the BF sharing my space with me (haven't shared living space with anyone in about 7 years), but finding out that I'd have to endure 3-6 weeks of that brat...I just don't think I'll be able to do it. I'll probably be buying tickets to fly home to spend with my family and completely avoid the whole visit; even though I'll be missing out on spending time with what could potentially be my future SS, who I actually like.

What should I do about exSD? She's going to create a lot of animosity between my boyfriend and myself, because he's going to be so concerned about what she "reports" back to her BM about the visit. Plus he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, and I get that, I really do. It’s not the kids fault the parents got divorced, however, since she isn’t related and was so young with they did divorce why did BM create this weird situation, giving BF a guilt trip about him saying he’d like to just spend time with his BS from time to time when he comes out to visit? Any BMs out there that can learn some knowledge on me? I really would like to know why she still forces her child that she had from her first baby daddy, onto my BF, who is now her second of 3 baby daddy’s. In addition BM is about to get her second divorce, and I think I’d like my BF to get primary custody and have his BS come live with us full time, and just do visits with his BM. I don’t know how to bring this up without making it seem like I’m telling him how to run his life. It’s just, we’ve got a 4bd/3ba house and just two adults and two cats living in it. BF’s BS is currently living with his 3 siblings in a 3bd house, with two adults in divorce mode. The three girls have to share one bedroom, and luckily he is a boy so he gets his own room. But I feel like we could provide a much more comfortable life for him…plus it would eliminate any need for me to have to be forced to endure a visit with the exSD who will easily bring an end to my relationship with my bf.