Ok, i'm sure this issue has been beaten to death, but i can't seem to find the suggestions, or ideas i'm looking for. So lets beat a dead horse.

I am the step mama. And i have pretty good kids. Problem is that they are getting terribly lazy. They have 3 houses, ours (4+ days a week) grandmas(2+ days a week) and the Ex's (MAYBE 1 day a week). Ex has them clean her house when she is with them. Grandma has cancer and is lucky to get them dressed each day. SO a lot of responsibility falls on us. Which for now is fine. For now.

DH and i have tried to set up chore charts, cleaning plans, incentives, etc for 3 years now and nothing seems to be working because the kids aren't here full time. It's really hard to have them buckle down and commit to being responsible when they only have to do it a few times a week- if that.

There has GOT to be a better plan to teach kids responsibility, and have them contribute to the house and keeping it clean. They make the mess when they are here, and we both feel they need to pick up after themselves. But rather then spend days on end when they're here hounding them to clean, we want to enjoy the time spent with them.

so... does anyone have a method that has worked for them? Our kids are 10, 6, 3. Suggestions appreciated