Boyfriend's son lying about me
Okay so to start out, I am not a stepparent, but I definitely needed some advice. To explain the situation, my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He has two sons with a previous girlfriend, an 8 (almost 9) year-old (not biological) and a 3 year-old (biological). He has raised the 8-year-old since he was a baby and that's who he knows as dad. I am not a kid person, but I accepted his children as a part of my life because they are a part of him. The mother and I do not exactly get along, and she is a very unkind person in general. Overall, I pretty much avoid her to keep the peace. I met his children probably about 9 months ago and since my boyfriend and I live together, they always come over our place. She has them during the weekdays and we take them from Th-Sun/sometimes Mon. Pretty immediately, the 8-year old began clinging to me. I thought we were building a really close bond. Like I said, I'm not a kid person, but I am actually very good with kids when I am in a situation where I am around them. Once the 8-year-old really started to get comfortable with me, he began saying some pretty horrible things (by my standards, at least) about his mother while he would be over our house. Examples include “my mother is lazy”, “all she does is sit on her phone”, “I wish you were my mother and not her”, “she treats (his brother’s name) better than she treats me”. He would also say that he missed when my boyfriend used to live with them because at least they got to go to the park and go outside and he says his mother never takes them anywhere and she just sits at home all day on her phone. At first when he would say these things, I would kind of encourage him that his mother loves him and that she’s doing her best. In my honest opinion, I think she’s a horrible mother. But I would never say that to him, so I would just do my best to change the subject. Meanwhile when he was over our house, he would be living it up. So much so to the point where when we would tell him it was time to go home, he'd be angry and give us an attitude and he has even cried on several occassions because he said he didn't want to go back. Many months later, I hear from my boyfriend that the son has been going to his mother’s boyfriend and telling him that all the awful stuff HE is saying about his mother have been coming out of MY mouth. He was also saying that he doesn't even like coming over my house because every thime he's there, "she talks about my mommy". WHAT. Meanwhile, when he’s over our house, he’s telling me that he hates being at his mother’s house, that he wishes she weren't his mother, that he wishes he could live with us, etc. So I let this go one time because it was the first I had heard about it and I didn't want to come between my boyfriend’s relationship with his sons. Also, I know this kid has been through a lot and I was trying to be understanding about his issues. That was mistake number one on our part. Now this last weekend when he was over, he was saying more nasty things about his mother (direct quote from him after I had made him lunch: "you're the best, too bad for my mom because she's not the best") and I told him that we are not going to discuss his mother, because what happens at their house is none of my business. Well guess what. Heard from my boyfriend today YET AGAIN that he was saying all the awful stuff was coming from me. And it's so interesting because everything she claims he is saying that I am saying have been direct quotes from HIM. It's like he's projecting his thoughts onto me as if they're my thoughts. It’s literally to the point where I can’t stand this kid and I feel horrible because I would never want to come between my boyfriend and his sons. My boyfriend said all of us should talk to him the first time and we didn't. Now he is saying we are all going to sit down and talk to him. I almost feel like it's pointless, because his mother is so ignorant that she is refusing to believe anything that comes out of my mouth and I'm sure once I say something, she's just going to back me into a corner and defend her child even though he is lying about me and my character. In the past, she has admitted to me HERSELF that she knows that he lies. The son had even come to me telling me stories about her boyfriend hitting/"beating" him (which I didn’t believe because he’s an awful liar) and she said he makes stuff up all the time. He would even come to me at times and make up stories about his mom and her boyfriend and if I would question him, he would laugh and be like "you actually believed that?"