BM successfully creating conflict between me and my fiance because he refuses to acknowledge her and the SSs behavior. When BM would do things like barge into the house first thing in the morning when I was at fiance's house, he could clearly see her bad behavior. He dealt with her barging into his house, but now she comes over for "kid issues" at inconvenient times and he buys her innocent act "because she now knocks"....To my fiance's credit, he came up with the idea of selling his house and buying a new one for us and he says she will not be allowed to enter.
Since putting a stop to her "breaking and entering" the BM has now started using SS's to carry out her dirty work. She will make conflicting plans with the kids without telling us and make her plan so tempting that the kids have a tantrum if they don't get to drop our plans to attend hers. They have no formal custody arrangement (to keep things "friendly")other than that the kids should live at his house full time. No surprise she is all fun and games now, bought a house with a swimming pool, etc - Disneyland mom, so it is very easy for her to lure the kids.
Yesterday I texted fiance's 20 year old (living with dad full time since dropping out of college) to tell him I bought a cake and made reservations for his dad's birthday and the 20 year old responded that his dad didn't like cake and that his dad told him he wanted to go somewhere else for dinner. I did not respond to the text. When my fiance called after work I told him about the 20 year old's texts and asked him to deal with it. He was grouchy about it and told me to ignore it because he was going to. I agreed. Then later at dinner the 11 year old asked me where we were going for dinner and I let his dad tell him we were going to the place I had chosen. The 11 year old then had a tantrum and told his dad that BM wanted him to come to her house. The 11 year old whined that his mom told him she was going to miss him if he didn't come over since we were taking him out of town for the weekend. BM never wants the 11 year old on weekends unless she learns we have plans. I let DF handle the tantrum and allow the 11 year old to go to his mom's house after dinner. After dinner I asked whose idea it was for him to go to his mom's and my fiance blew up accusing ME of creating drama. Score one for the BM. I reacted badly and started to cry and left DF's unwrapped birthday gifts and cake on the table before I went home. He did not call me, so I called him a bit later. I was then shocked when my fiance lied and accused me of accusing the 20 year old of yelling at me. I am bewildered since this is a first for my fiance. When I pointed out the fact that I told him earlier it was a text exchange, so made no such accusation (which he already knew)and told him I was hurt and shocked that he would so blatantly twist the truth, he became angrier and I hung up. Score TWO for the BM.
Today I am seriously questioning our engagement and considering not joining him for his birthday tomorrow or for the weekend wedding. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.