Attachment
My husbands 7 year old is the last of 4 children to his ex wife, they split shortly after she was born. We got married in July last year (2019) and are very cautious in how we have developed our relationship - both working with vulnerable children and mental health we understand how much this will have taken out of all 4 kids. We are currently struggling with our 7 year old though who continually wets her pants. She never does this through the night and we know she can as over the summer when she was with us on two separate weeks she was dry and clean the whole time. She is having more and more accidents - today she had 3 in the space of 4/5 hours and that's with us constantly asking her and making her 'go try' - my husband is doing a masters in mental health disorders and I work with children and young people who have gone through really tough times - we should know what to do - but we really just don't know!?! We are so worried for her, as we can see now she's quite critical of herself and doesn't see herself as being good at anything. Does anyone have any advice - I never usually write / do stuff like this but we are just at a loss. Any advice would be great!
thanks
Diaper time!
Diaper time!
24/7. Until she demonstrates that she has this under control.
Her peers will motivate her to fix it. Having to wear a diaper to school every day should fix it in about two school days flat. Also, make her clean herself up and clean up after herself. See how she likes it.
Has your DH consulted his
Has your DH consulted his daughter's pediatrician? It's possible she has a UTI but little pain, or has some other incontinence issue.
Does she have these problems with her mom? Is her life with BM pretty normal or chaotic?
My YSS struggled with peeing the bed and constipation due to stress with BM. We always knew when things weren't okay at her house because YSS would be peeing the bed again or he'd have a new script for laxatives. Unfortunately, there wasn't much we could do other than offer non-stressful weekends.
We've had the whole lacitives
We've had the whole lacitives the week we got married funny enough .. yeah pretty manic over there 7 kids / no structure etc .. thanks for your feedback Re: UTI - never thought of that ..
Honestly...
Honestly...
When my stepdaughter did this around 6 years old or so, we tried EVERYTHING. I'm an empathetic, find out what's wrong kind of mom before dicipline. I truly believe in the best of kids - they don't be "bad" because they're bad kids, but because something is wrong. But no amount of talks, trying to help, working through her emotions, etc. did anything until I threatened to put her in a diaper.
I just had enough one day after months and months of it. My son was an infant at the time and I was so busy with HIS diaper changes and everything that comes with having a baby. I was gentle about it. Woke her up at night to go to the bathroom despite getting up 10x a night with a baby. Brought her clean pants to school when they called despite having to wake said baby up from a nap to do it. I did everything.
We talked with her, ruled out medical issues... It went on for almost a year until one day, I snapped and told her she's no longer getting away with it. She can wear diapers starting the very next time she has an accident. She literally hasn't had an accident since that moment and it's been two years lol.
Diapers make a huge impact on
Diapers make a huge impact on kids who shouldn't be wetting themselves. It worked for my Skid at that age. It took him going into a diaper for the weekend with Monday looming and having to wear a diaper to school. He came to us at bedtime on sunday in underwear rather than a diaper and told us it wouldn't happen again. And it didn't.
We'd be done by my husbands
We'd be done by my husbands ex for abuse - let's just say she's very dangerous - so although this has come into my mind his ex would love the story to back up how she feels we already don't have an attachment with this little kiddie - despite her txting me each Mother's Day to thank me for 'loving HER babies' - pathetic - but thank you for the advice ..
My ss and our ds had peed bed
My ss and our ds had peed bed once in a while until age 11 or so. How I handled it is with two of those waterproof cloths that are about 3ft x 3ft, the are soft and don't make scratchy noises when you move in your sleep, its the kind that the nurses use under a woman giving birth or nursing homes put under bedridden patents. I put the cloths on top of the bottom sheet and washed it when there was an accident. its stopped eventually. but i think everyone is at risk of having an accident if they drank too much one night, or dreamed that they got up and walked to the bathroom and realized it was a dream and it was the bed and not the toilet.