11-y/o Daughter tells lies about me and manipulates tries to manipulate my husband
My DH and I have been together for almost 6 years now. We have 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls (both boys and 1 girl are biologically mine). The girls are both 11, boys are 13 and 14. I've been in my daughters life now (SD) since she was 5. From the start of my DH and I dating, I have done everything I can for this little girl. If I do something or buy anything for my bio daughter, I do the same thing for my SD. About 5 months into dating my DH, he ordered a new cell phone. He opened the package and walked out of the room to set something up on it, and when he came back, the charge was taken out of the box. He asked his daughter ("Sasha") where the charger was and she replied "Ask Mandi" (We'll call myself Mandi). I was completely shocked and told him I hadn't even touched the box. An hour later, he found it hidden in the bottom of her backpack after she accused me of taking it. Over the years, she has done little things like. Yesterday, I really was hurt and mad....She had left her clarinet at our house and wanted her dad to drive it to her moms house, which is 45 minutes away at 9PM. He has to get up at 4 AM for work the next day, so he told her no and that her mom would have to drive to come get it. Her mom refused because she never drives to our place. So, DH said he would bring it to work with him and her step-dad could meet him and grab it (Her step-dad didn't have to work that day). Anyway, the next day we had a huge ice storm and roads were horrible. Step dad said he told my DH that he wasn't going to risk getting on the highways and that she would have to go without it. (This was a Tuesday). Wednesday came and both my husband and I drove to pick her up from school (she goes to school 45 minutes away near her mom's house. my hsuband or I drive her to school on the days during the week that we have her and pick her up as well). She gets in the car and I say "Hey! I made sure your dad didn't forget your new headphones!" (I ordered her new headphones that came via mail). She didn't say thanks or anything that would suggest that she heard me. My husband said "I'm sorry I couldn't get yoru clarinet to you yesterday" and she said "It's fine, "Mike" (Step-dad) said "Mandi" wouldn't give it to him or meet him". My husband and I looked at each other and I said "What??" My husband said why would Mike say that? He said he didn't want to risk getting on the highway because the roads were covered in ice". DH even showed Sasha the text. I said "why would he even say that Sasha" and my husband basically echoed that. She then said "say what"? So my husband repeated back what she said. Sasha then said "I never said that". We both told her you literall just said that Mike told you Mandi wouldn't give it to him". She replies "No I didn't. I never said that". this went on for a while, so I was just pissed at this point. I said I am sick of you lying and outright bringing me into things that I was never involved in. We get home, my husband goes to talk to her in her room and I take a walk. When I got back, I said "she hates me or something". DH says "she thinks you don't like her". At that point, I got upset all over again. I said "she tells you that every time she gets caught lying about me and manipulates you! She has no problem asking me to do stuff for her, or talking to me and hanging out, helping, etc., but as soon as she gets in trouble, it's because I don't like her. At this point, we are at a loss and don't even know what to do anymore. She continues to lie, manipulate, and then deny. HELP, please! I love her to pieces, I've tried having one-on-one conversations, she's extremely disrespectful to me, etc. I honestly am at a loss.