When to cut out toxic BM
My SS is almost 7 and since Christmas, his BM has seen him once and called him maybe 6 or 7 times. I am the stepmother and have full care because my SO works out of town. Before Christmas, his mom would take him at least one weekend a month for most weekends. During these visits, she would sleep and let him play on the iPad the entire time. She was also constantly fighting with roommates, partying and having him at strangers houses. He was 2 when I stepped into the picture and one month into my relationship with my SO, she was already asking me to take him overnights by myself because of fights and police showing up at her house. After one week, she was fighting with my SO about not ever getting time off from my SS. Keep in mind, he works out of town for 21 days and would take SS the day after he got home from shift. That wasn't enough. She has always made SS feel as though he was too much and she always did the bare minimum. She has openly admitted that she will use him against us if she doesn't get financial help. The last two years he has been with us full time, even though the parenting order is 50/50. We went back to court a couple months ago to change the order to reflect the current situation and she didn't show up but judges will always give the mother the benefit of the doubt. This last year, she has been doing meth and choosing extremely toxic and dangerous men and has almost completely abandoned her child. SS wants space but we are scared he is too young to make that decision himself. When is it necessary to cut off the relationship until she gets help?