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What she’s pulled this week. I can’t make this up! Lol

Biostep7777's picture

So far it's only Thursday: 

1. HCBM has told DH that oldest SS wants to do travel ball. Probably $3000 a season and he better pay. Now! DH said "yeah, not in my budget. Sorry"  HCBM states she will let SS know that dad doesn't support him. 

2. DH told her we were doing our annual Halloween party and could she switch Thursday/Friday night so the kids could attend. She said "we can all stop by on Friday" 

DH said "it's completely inappropriate for you to invite yourself to our home during a family and friends event! That is not an option. (It's an outdoor neighborhood party/haunted trail in our yard we do each year for neighborhood friends and our family) 
So she said "To be clear. You do not want me to take them to your open to the public event? I'll let them know that's the case" So she is going to tell the kids they can't go because DAD DOESN'T WANT HER TO TAKE THEM. Unbelievable. 

3. Then she says the boys rather stay with her tonight instead of him so she hopes he accommodates them having a smooth morning with her going to school. Yeah, again....NO. 

4. Then she states youngest SS rather go with her to oldests band concert tonight and DH can just meet them there. Again. No! (By the way this is ALL against their court order so thank you dummy!!! Lol) 

5. then she stated next weekend she wants to take youngest to a tennis tournament, oldest to THREE SEPERATE baseball tryouts, a baseball tournament and they can just sleep at her house so she can get them to everything. So how is she going to be 3-4 places at once and why is she asking to take them during DH's time?  Again. This is on DH's weekend!!! What!!??? 

This isn't even everything. This is just what I remember. Just this week alone! 

Is she the biggest idiot or what? 

 Good news though! We have got confirmation that we are the first on the list to be scheduled in court in early 2022 so thank sweet baby Jesus we are finally getting there! I think this is why she's amping up. She's trying to provoke him, get him to agree to expensive activities, trying to show he's "not supportive" by giving the boys whatever they want but she is so stupid she doesn't realize this makes HER LOOK BAD. 

Please get us to court soon!!! I know this will never be "over" but we need something! Anything!! Now that court is around the corner officially I am suspecting the abuse allegations are going to amp up again. Ugh! Give me strength. Lol I'll keep you all posted to what her allegations are. Maybe I'll be a prostitute or I walk around the house naked or DH and I have sex in front of the kids or DH is molesting the dog or we made the kids sleep on the roof for mentioning their mother. Hahahaha!!! Good times. 



CastleJJ's picture

I hope your DH shut her down on taking the kids to those activities during his parenting time. Your BM is ballsy... she doesn't even ask, she just demands and says it's going to happen.  

I hope that you have better luck in court than we and many others on this blog did. Fighting HCBMs in court is expensive, lengthy, and emotionally/mentally taxing. 

Biostep7777's picture

Yeah he mostly ignored her now but he did shut this one down. She's seriously out of control. I have never in my life seen anything quite like this. She is obsessed with looking like the superior perfect mother to the point of complete paranoia, mania, delusion and dysfunction. But this isn't something that is considered a detriment to the kids because they are not being beat. These kids are the strangest, creepiest, arrogant, self centered people I have ever met. How is this not seen as hurting them?? They can barely function normally. 

tog redux's picture

Read up on Intermittent Reinforcement. "Mostly ignoring" and then occasionally reacting is actually the quickest way to make sure that BM continues to push his buttons.  He must NEVER react and respond, never ever.  That's the only way to extinguish this behavior.

tog redux's picture

One thing we learned - never, ever, EVER ask BM to switch days. The kids just have to miss the Halloween party. Don't open that door even a crack.

Also, I agree with Castle. This will NOT be done in early 2022, that will be the first of many court appearances. Things don't go smoothly with this type.

Biostep7777's picture

Yeah I know but we figured we would try. We knew it most likely wouldn't happen. She also said she would trade if she could have the entire next weekend. So, he would get this Friday and she would get next Thursday-Monday. Lol! Stupid! She thinks that's completely reasonable and says he's being unreasonable because he wants an "exact trade" like....WHAT!??

tog redux's picture

Yep. That's how BM here was. If DH asked to switch she wanted to have 3 days for every one that he asked for. But if SHE wanted to switch, it was "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MAKE-UP TIME!!"

It's never worth the drama to ask to switch days. The only way you keep drama to a minimum is to consistently follow the CO and ignore her crap. He should have ignored her inviting herself over too. 

ESMOD's picture

From your back story, these kids are a bit older.. preteen/teen?  Don't try this any more.  If THEY want to attend something with dad or on dad's time at his home, THEY can ask mommy.  Let her be the one to have to call to beg their dad to take extra time.  

And.. I don't mean that your DH tells his kid to go ask their mom.. I mean.. let them wholly come up with the desire and the motivation to ask their mom.

If they come to him and say.. Hey dad, I know you have that halloween party.. we want to come...  Well kids, it's on your mom's custody time.  I don't have control over her time just like she doesn't have control of mine.  This is something to take up with her.

Normally, I wouldn't make the kids be the go between.. but with some situations... when the kids are old enough to advocate for their own preferences.. sometimes it can smooth things over.  

Clearly in this situation, this woman is going to try to control her children's lives 24/7 even if that means controlling your husband's home.  The kids don't sound like they enjoy being at your home much anyway.. so I would not be pressing to have them get extra time... unless they wanted it.

LittleCloud9's picture

Do you have something like Our Family Wizard or something similar to document all this unreasonableness for the court? 

Biostep7777's picture

Oh we sure do! She fought tooth and nail and complains about it constantly saying it's so "cumbersome" but then said "but I'll use it to help the boys dad because he's so overwhelmed" 

like...what are you even talking about!!?

shellpell's picture

This all sucks, but I'm just thinking about what the effect on skids will be long term if they are already creepy, selfish, etc. Are they going to be people that you enjoy being around after they turn 18 and Cs/contact w BM is legally over? Has their relationship with DH been affected permanently because of all of this Bm crap?

tog redux's picture

I can answer for our situation - no, we don't enjoy time with SS21, and yes, this all affected his relationship with DH. It's superficial at best. 

If I could go back, I'd urge DH to do a lot less fighting over SS, considering who he's turned out to be. Not worth it, and all the fighting only made it worse. 

Biostep7777's picture

Hell no. I want nothing to do with them and I'm sure there will be no relationship with them when they are over 18. DH thinks they will figure their mom out  and it will all be okay. I know it won't be. Their relationship with their mother is creepy as hell. I want absolutely nothing to do with these kids. Nog now and certainly not when they are adults. 

shamds's picture

Left batshit crazy hcgubm tends to be a popular story with these crazy women even when they cheated on their ex husband and their kids know this but turn a blind eye to it. 

i was the half naked christian whore that my husband left the islamic religion for. Oh how did that backfire years later when sd's who were 13 and 23 after 5 yrs no contact confronted bio mum about that lie as i was clearly born and raised as a muslim  did the pilgrimage in mecca, wore headscarf (hijab). 
bio mum when confronted with this told sd's she was a born again muslim woman going for hajj and all good in the head. 

dumbass sd's bought this bs.. years of brainwashing and alienation basically erases any logic or common sense.

me and hubby just laugh at this bs. It never ends with bio mum and when she contacted my sil, sil told hubby don't worry, that woman isn't trashtalking your wife to me one bit. After all the lies she told the sd's and called edest sil about 8.5 yrs ago claiming i was a half naked christian whore, she claimed i was such a lovely woman who loved her kids like my own. I wanted to punch that hoe in the face!!

StillKidFree's picture

The super polite, it's all for the kids, and I'm somehow going to twist this around to make dad look like the bad guy tone and phrasing. Honestly, I sometimes feel like my BF and I are the crazy ones who are being unreasonable because of how she does it. But no, not changing the schedule because she made plans with the kids on his time and told them in advance is not our fault.

Thanks for sharing this and everyone else for posting supportive comments. It made me feel less crazy.