Triggers with emails so MAD!!!!
BF’s Lawyer arranged an emergency custody hearing with judge. He needs proof of her actions and we have been going through emails (She has sent him a lot of nasty threatening emails since the divorce).
I found an email from BF/BM thanking each other for the marriage and how they wouldn’t change a thing (Trigger 1-Really set me off!!!)
I found another email in which BF alerted BM that her BF’s wife had reached out to him a few times, once calling and once showing up at his work. BM freaked out writing, “OMG what does she want? What is her game plan? Does she know about BF and I? I’m scared for my safety and that of our son!!” My BF assured her that he would protect her/SS and he told BF’s wife that he has no interest in meeting her and if she doesn’t leave him alone he will have her arrested for stalking. (Trigger #2…Set me off…. I feel that he was protecting an adulterer but had problems protecting me??? WTF!!!!!
He claims that they were separated, wanted SS to be safe, and didn’t want to deal with the issue at hand.
After she was served, she is changing her tune saying that she has/had no problem letting BF have SS, just as long as I am gone. She said they co-parented well until BIG BAD CHRISTY came along. (Do they all tell each other that? I have seen other BMs say the same thing on this site as well as others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
BF called lawyer and told him he is sick of me getting dragged into this and he wants BM ordered to stop talking about me. Lawyer said BM was told at the last hearing by Judge that she does not want to her me mentioned at all and I have nothing to do with the case. BM rolled her eyes at the judge but did not say anything. She was court ordered to let BF see SS, left court and told his lawyer that ONCE I get dumped BF will get SS back. His lawyer has drawn up a motion to impound all the statements about me.
Just a vent. I know I should not be upset over things in the past, but it still triggers me!!!!
Yeah, I don't get when this
Yeah, I don't get when this happens - they divorce a crazy, abusive adulterer who keeps their kid away from them, and they still want to play nice and "protect her" ... "for the kids". Seems like a trauma response - if I bow and scrape, she won't abuse me. Like a dog rolling on its back to show submission.
Good news on the judge and attorneys telling BM that you aren't part of the case. But of course she's jealous, given that your BF was so dang nice to her.
My incredible bride did the
My incredible bride did the "play nice for the kid's sake" thing with the SpermClan in the hopes that they would not take their toxic shit out on the kid. The nicer she played, the nastier they got. The more that played their victim, manipulative, "your mom is evil and mean" crap when the Skid was in SpermLand for visitation.
When I finally got the message across that they were still targeting the Skid and she reached clarity she went all mama bear on their idiot asses. They would crawl back under their slime covered rock at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pool and pretty much stay there until my DW would back off when her notable optimism had told her that they had learned their lesson. At which point they would immediately start twitch their usual shit. After a few years of this and me pointing out yet again that when she backed off they got toxic she finally quit giving them even an inch. At that point SS truly started to thrive and the SpermClan stayed under their Rick..... for the most part.
Thank you
Thanks for that...It really upset me to read. Granted, it was a long time ago, way before he met me, but it still P'ed me off. I have taken a step back from reading those emails, although he has pages and pages he needs to go through for the court. I kinda wish I didn't offer to help him!
Yeah, let him handle that on
Yeah, let him handle that on his own. I used to help DH too, but it was hard to read all the crazy emails she sent.
Agreed
So hard to read!! Gets my blood boiling!!!!
Our BM used to say that DH
Our BM used to say that DH and her coparented so well until I came along. Nope BM, you abused DH until you got your way but called that "coparenting." She was only mad because DH put boundaries in place when he met me.
same here!
When we began dating, she would text/email him all jibberish and nonsense, like "Why did you tell susie at the pizza shop that you like SS's soccer coach, everyone knows he stinks" and "Why did you go to so and so's husband's cousins wake? You are not close to that family!" and "WHy are you working from home? you're gonna get fired! Go back to the office!" ect. He would apologize and explain himself. I told him to STOP answering her and ONLY answer if it pertains to SS. She would text, email, call, call and call again over something so trivial. He stopped answering all of her foolishness.
Yeah our BM used to send
Yeah our BM used to send messages about our personal lives. DH always felt the need to defend/explain himself to her. I helped DH work through the trauma of her abuse. We set strong boundaries and DH started ignoring her.
And her married boyfreind left her
AGAIN...She lives in a huge $800,000 home and used to brag that married bf was a contractor and did all of the house upkeep/repairs for free. Now he's gone (Shocker) and she want more CS and keeps saying she's going to sue ME for CS!!!!!
Holy sh****
I think if i saw that text i would have been riding every broom in his apartment!!! Thanks, I know I have to let it go...he did open up to me and allow me to help him sort through the emails, so I know he isn't hiding anything from me, but it still makes me want to hop on the nearest broom!!!!
I also
found emails of BM accusing his XGF or/and her kids (The one before me that BM ran off) of giving SS mono. Then later texting that SS was negative. Unbelievable!!!
You left a real name in the paragraph
You left a real name in the paragraph with all the exclamation points.
Your BM is off the charts
Your BM is off the charts crazy and for whatever reason (in my case too ) our SOs took sooo much abuse from BMs that they don't know how else to act.
It's taken me years to get where we are now. Honestly, he isn't 100% where I want him to be but, things have 180.
I get the feeling of protecting her over you. Even if you weren't even in the picture yet.. it's still like why don't you protect me!
I remember one time being in the car with him and he all smiley was like yeah I texted BM and said "hey can you do me a solid." She wrote back: "I'm getting a pedi yeah what's up." I was sitting there like wtffff. I don't remember what it specifically was about but, like you are that dumb to sit with your newish GF and talk to her about your buddy buddy texts with your ex wife that cheated on you, left twice, and steals a ridiculous amount of money from you every month.... cool story..
Ughh I don't miss the first two years haha. Even thinking about that now pissed myself off LOL.
Best thing to do about the emails is let him handle things prior to you.. if you want to help. If you see a date that was before you.. don't even look. Might he setting yourself up for aggravation.
Yup
I don't want to set myself up for aggravation, although i probably will still get PO'ed after the dates I met him....espeically with her rhetoric about me!