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Just upset with BM

robcat92411's picture

Smile ok so the bm in my story is mentally unfit. the crazy itch was told to make sure skids had nice jackets. well they came is crappy ones. this has happened atleast 10 times. she doesnt want to put her only girl in girl clothes. so i started spying and its only when the skids are with dad that they dress like crapp. Im sick of this. she hates me cause im with the dad and now the two oldest have cell phone casue she wouldnt let them call us. well now they have to call on saturdays the only 2 days a month she doesnt see them all day. They dont talk to dad everyday and the only reason they have to call is because during the week they might call dad once. get over it. i know i should be looking in the mirror when i said that. but i feel like thesee kids will never understand what torture she is putting them through. will they ever get it. they are 12 11 and 8. she doesnt love them like a mother should she is just wanting the child support. dad even told her if he had 100 grand to give her would she let him take custody. and she said yea. so what does that say about her. and to top it off she is marrying a guy with a kid that he is trying to take away from the bm for the same reasons we want to take ours from the bm. I think my state needs to give in to fathers more. bdm are crazy and should not have custody.

NCMilGal's picture

I don't actually think your BM is mentally unfit.

Trying to alienate them from their father, sure. Putting her grudges before the kids well-being, definitely. But unless she's starving them, beating them, encouraging them to do drugs, vandalize the neighborhood, sleep around, etc, no court will call her mentally unfit. Even then, because she's the BM, she'll still win.

Our BM verbally berates my SD14. BM dictates clothing and hairstyle to a teenager, regardless of her preference. BM poor-mouths DH and I, but she also makes fun of her own DH to the kids behind his back, so that tells you what kind of person she is.

SD14 is constantly in trouble with BM, constantly grounded, and is on anti-depressants and prescription sleeping pills because her mental state is so poor.

I honestly think my DH and I could provide a much healthier atmosphere for SD14, but there is no way in hell any judge would ever grant custody to us, even if SD14 testified that she wanted to live with us. To the court, BM has the better situation.

Good luck, but I think you've got a snowflake's chance in hell.

totalof4's picture

robcat--- I assure you, the kids see what is happening and they are not stupid. They will be cautious bc she is their mother and they love her. but don't fret, kids know who the idiots are, they catch more than we realize and need to be told little... it may not manifest, and you get confirmation that they know who was a bad parent, for a while yet.. but it WILL come.

itsgottostop's picture

Ok so is krisnkids the bm in this situation? That type of comment surely didn't come from a step parent.

itsgottostop's picture

Well it is obvious you are a bm and the name of the site is steptalk....

The BM in my situation has never been told how to dress my SS when he comes to our house and she still dresses him like an orphan child out of spite. For example...we picked him up from her house on thanksgiving day and she took him inside and changed him into pants that were two sizes too small, an old tshirt, and flip flops....IN NOVEMBER. Truth is, some BM's are too selfish to put their hate and jealousy aside for their own kids and in cases like that, the child would be better off with his father...afterall...the he is the father and doesn't love his kids any less than the BM.

itsgottostop's picture

I did not hijack someone elses blog to tell my story. I completely agree with robcat and wanted to let them know that she is not alone when it comes to things like this. However, when a BM gets on this site and posts stuff bashing step parents, that just pisses me off. The SM is always made out to be the bad guy and this site is for them to vent and share stories with people who are experiencing the same things.

itsgottostop's picture

Fair enough I guess. I guess the name of the site is quite misleading though...

Have a good day!