I want peace and stability
*sad*New member, never posted. I am a mother of one and a stepmom to FOUR. Three DSDs and one DSS. I am four whole years into being into their lives. Bio mom has no diagnosis of a mental disorder but it has been highly suspected by most that deal with her on a regular basis, at the very least she exhibits very toxic behavior. She has a history of substance abuse and domestic violence, but no criminal charges in the last four years. She has been doing better and better in my opinion but still causes enough chaos to disturb the stability of our life, kids especially! She's an on and off parent, choosing whenever she likes to be present and involved or not. Our current custody agreement reflects that all four children spend atleast half of their time with her and half with dad, no CS between households. It has been running smoothly for just about 3 months now, which is GREAT for her. She springs on us last month though that she is no longer going to be getting the four on her allotted time and says she has plans in the works to gain full custody of all four sometime within the new year and she needs to prepare for this transition in the meantime... by not having them but a few days out of a month as she sees fit. She is saying that around some time in August she plans on moving them all in with her.
I am a little lost on how to give my family stability amidst these messes that she creates. These "ventures" are never ending, one ends and she begins another. Changing visitation, the kids lives and our lives as she wishes!
I am seeking advice on how to gain peace with this, as much as is possible and to connect with others who may be going through this, I feel very alone and out of control of my life! HELP!
Just to add: My SKs are taught by BM to not accept or like me of course. I have witnessed this on several occasions as well as heard from SKs that talking badly about me is a regular and encouraged occurence! Therefore, our time spent with them is strained, they often have terrible attitudes, mostly just DSDs, DSS does not appear to get involved much in these things. I am despised in my own home and often feel like not being arounds SKs at all! This hurts by DH's feelings but I feel overwhelmed by their hatred.