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BM may be "needing a break" soon

Mary Louise's picture

The last time BM had a serious BF dump her, she freaked out and said she "couldn't take it" meaning, the kids. She left the kids w/ my fiance's parents and my fiance for over a week because she needed to "get away" then she left town.

Well, her live in BF is moving out this weekend and we need to know what to do if she pulls the mental breakdown card again. I think that we should get the kids here and then report to at least the Friend of the Court or at most some branch of child protective services. I think if my fiance had reported this to authorities the last time, he may have been able to negotiate more custody time/full custody. Has anyone had this happen?

When they split and as far as I know she is still seeing a psychiatrist once a week, and has a history of eating disorder problems. She also is emotionally unavailable to the kids most of the time and prefers to have other people watch/take care of the kids. Just wondering if we should take documenting things like that so far as she hasn't actually physically abused the kids.

Trying to plan ahead. Any advice would be appreciated.

Medical Mom's picture

I am going through issues right now with the CPS thing and waiting for a response. The only thing is it will take time to process and get action taken on this.
Document everything, if it isn't documented then it didnt happen. At least that is the way that the courts look at it.

Most Evil's picture

My BM went thru this thing where every 6 mos. or so she would call and say, can we take SD, BM has too much going on or SD is acting up, etc. and we would always say, Yes we want her. Every time when we would start making plans for that, the BM changed her mind. I can't stand her for that!

The point being that your BM is just trying for more attention and more drama. I think you should report it to CPS and keep your own records and maybe at some point she will hang herself with this periodic neglect.

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

GreenTeaTime's picture

Ss5 has been saying since he could talk that he wants to live with his daddy. BM is not really the mommy type, and doesn't like to be associated with anything child related. Her live in BF( that she left Dh to be with , when ss was only 1) has always done everything for ss.. pick him up from day care( daycare doesn't even know what she looks like supposedly) So, it makes sense when we drop ss off EOW he is in tears, crying that he doesn't want to go back to mommys, can he live with daddy? breaks DH's heart.

Well, we try to be as honest with ss as possible. We have explained to him that he doest have a choice right now, that he has to live with mommy. We have also explained to him that it is not up to us where he lives, that its more up to his mom. Well... he went to BM and asked to live with us. BM called and asked if he can stay with us for a few weeks. DH said, um sure, but it has to be permanent, not just for an indefinite time. DH is smart enough to know that we would still pay hefty child support and have him living with us, cus she doesn't want to give up resident custody. NO WAY! She would rather suffer through the chore of mommy duty then give up receiving her second income of child support. She has a history of doing things just for the cash lol.

However, Just last week at drop off, she informed us that her Boyfriend was leaving her. I just wonder what she will do now that she doesn't have someone to pawn ss off on? As much as she loves getting CS, I doubt she will like getting up in the middle of the night , take him to the dr.s, Daycare, etc. But the thing we are going to be firm on, is that it will have to be acknowledged by the courts before she hands him over.

Somehow I have a feeling she's going to be begging us, once her boytoy is gone.

Angel's picture

Is he your fiance? Should you document? Hell, no. I would step back & watch all of this unfold & NOT get involved. Take a snapshot of this drama and multiply it by 10 and this is what your future might look like on a clear day in the future.

Not a good idea to get involved with a man that has a psycho X. This is way toooooo much baggage sweetie.

Now, this is the advice I would give my daughter---I will get pummeled by many who don't agree. This is just another point of view. I shall duck and cover now.

Angel's picture

Is he your fiance? Should you document? Hell, no. I would step back & watch all of this unfold & NOT get involved. Take a snapshot of this drama and multiply it by 10 and this is what your future might look like on a clear day in the future.

Not a good idea to get involved with a man that has a psycho X. This is way toooooo much baggage sweetie.

Now, this is the advice I would give my daughter---I will get pummeled by many who don't agree. This is just another point of view. I shall duck and cover now.

Angel's picture

Is he your fiance? Should you document? Hell, no. I would step back & watch all of this unfold & NOT get involved. Take a snapshot of this drama and multiply it by 10 and this is what your future might look like on a clear day in the future.

Not a good idea to get involved with a man that has a psycho X. This is way toooooo much baggage sweetie.

Now, this is the advice I would give my daughter---I will get pummeled by many who don't agree. This is just another point of view. I shall duck and cover now.