You are here

Asking for schedule changes in writing???

firesqirrl's picture

My husband and I have full legal AND physical custody of SS9 (living in California). BM has supervised visitation only, for Sundays and for only 2hrs. Last year she was released from jail and a court ordered time at a mental facility. 2 days after being released, without warning, she asked for a visit, which we were happy to provide seeing as she had been detained and made no effort to call or write SS. At the visit she informed us she was moving to live with her mother in Barrows, Alaska, due to not being able to find work in the immediate area. Now, we live in a very large city and are surrounded by other larger cities as well, but seeing as we normally have to dealing with BM and her families constant lies, her excuse of moving "not being able to find employment", we already knew was a lie. We actually think it was part of her being released, was to be in the custody or her mother, but we are not able to obtain records to show if that is true or not. BM lost all legal and physical custody due to long history of mental illness and due to attempt of suicide on her own life.
Since her move to Alaska, we have set up a phone call schedule. The schedule is phone calls on Tuesdays and Sundays, after 6pm. This is due to her calling at all different times, including when SS was in school. SS has expressed numerous times he doesn't want to talk to her, but we still encourage contact with her. When on the calls, she repeats herself, asks the same exact questions again and again, and when SS does answer her questions, she has no clue what he has said. SS gets excited if he keeps his conversations with her to 5mins or less. Lately, she has been calling on all different nights and times, again, other than those on the schedule. Our schedule has been a verbal one only and we are trying to find out a couple things:
1. Can we put in writing the schedule ourselves or do we need to go through the courts?
2. Can we ask her if she is needing to make changes to the schedule to do so in writing at least a day ahead of time. (Especially when she has appointments she has known about)
Any information can help, THANK YOU!!

Rags's picture

Our CO is clear. The schedule for visitation is defined in the CO and any changes or even intent to excercise a CO scheduled visit must be made in writing. You may want to read your CO cover to cover to see if it is not defined in your CO. If it is not defined in your CO research supplemental rules for the jurisdiction where your CO is issued. The county where our CO was issued has fairly extensive supplemental rules regarding visitation, support payment schedules, etc.....

The beauty of a CO and any supplemental rules for your jurisdiction and any state regulations is that few people read them at all and in the case of supplemental rules and state regulations few people even know that they exist. So, the person who knows the CO, supplemental rules, and state regs cover to cover, inside out, and backwards holds a distinct advantage over a blended family opposition who choose to be ignorant of a document (the CO) and supporting structural documentation (Supplemental Rules, State Regulations).

Before you go back to court over this issue I suggest you dig into all of the available information and see what may already be in place to help you manage this situation.

We made an amazing hobby and great sport out of keeping rolled up copies of the CO, Supplemental Rules, and State Regulations handy to beat the snot out of the toxic blended family opposition any time they so much as twitched out of line or away from reasonable behavior (figuratively of course). Because they never read the CO and did not know of the existence of the other governing documents they had no recourse but to do what we told them to do when we told them to do it. Or they could get a lawyer which they did not have the resources to do often enough to have much say in the situation beyond doing exactly what was layed out in the CO.

The supplemental rules were referenced in our CO so when they whined loudly with a "But you can't do that!" Our answer was always. "Sure we can. The Judge said so. If you don't like it... go file and we will see you in court." }:) More whining but that was the end of the discussion.

For 16+ years we were the world's foremost experts on our CO and any information relevent to it. We documented everything. Every telephone call (including recordings - Legal in our state by the way. Without having to inform the other party that they were being recorded), every coversation, every email, text message, letter, voice mail, etc....... It was logged in a journal with clarifying notes and dated, recordings were transcribed and filed for future use to roll up and smack the shit out the Sperm Clan with any time they stepped out of line. There is nothing quite like seeing the look on the Sperm Idiot's face or Sperm GrandHag's face, or their attorney's face when the response to one of their lies is "Would you like to hear the recording?" Biggrin Blum 3 }:) Dirol

One of our most enjoyable days was when we cleared out our Custody/Visitation/Support filing cabinet a couple of years after our son aged out from under the CO. Interestingly he wanted to keep all of it since he periodically would access it to confirm his smell test of Sperm Clan manipulative bullshit. So we told him to scan it all and keep it if he wanted to but the paper, tapes, journals, etc... were all going to the shredder. He archived much of it and periodically calls us about our recollection of some Sperm Clan crap or another.

So, document, document, document, get informed, manage the opposition as aggressively as necessary to protect your family and your Skid from the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

LikeMinded's picture

I agree, only pick up her calls when they come in at a reasonable time. Eventually, she'll have to figure it out.

firesqirrl's picture

Thank you everyone.
We will be obtaining copies of all papers to have on hand. As of now when BM calls, her mother is always there to supervise her calls and coach her on what to talk to her son about. Her mother is also present anytime she has come for a visit since moving to Alaska. Until we have all our information up to date, we are ignoring calls on non-call nights, while staying positive to it all.