Well,  You said it yourself.. if he told you the same about your kids.. you would be hurt.  In fact, if your partner told you they didn't like your children.. in fact maybe even hated them.  Would you continue to subject your kids to a toxic environment and make them live with someone that hated them?

You will have to be very careful how you deal with this because it could mean the end of your relationship with your DH.

We have had posters here who have done their "grand flounce" and announced disengagement from their Skids only to find that their partner does a 180 with their (the kids of the one announcing disengagement) children..and stops having a positive relationship.. 

Please don't discount the very real possibility that your DH may have some not positive opinions of your own kids and that he will resent this stance after "all he has done" to try to foster a relationship with yours.. while you don't give his kids the same courtesy.

Disengagement is not just refusal to deal with the kids.. it's getting yourself to a point where you don't "care" about what happens with them beyond the point where it directly impacts your life.. breaking things.. stealing etc.. It may mean you don't go out of your way to do things with and for "just his kids".. unless it is under the umbrella of doing the assist to help you husband.. who is also helping with your own kids.  It may mean putting your own focus on your kids.. doing things with them while your DH does things with his own.  It may mean that you are kind and cordial to them in your home.. but stop having expectations that they are obligated to reciprocate.  Let your DH deal with forgotten birthdays (of his.. why care if they wish you one?)  Let your DH deal with buying gifts.. and when vacation time comes.. make sure that if it is a larger family vacation.. you have ways of getting a break.

And... perhaps therapy for you.  Remember.... you will get peace from understanding the things you can and cannot change.. that you can't force others to act how you want.. only your reaction.  You can to an extent choose to focus on the positive (and they haven't killed anyone.. so there's that right?).. and not dwell on the negative.

So... don't tell your DH any of this... the only thing it is likely to do is put a crack in your relationship that is likely to widen over time.  As situations come up... like christmas... "honey.. I will shop for my kids.. you can shop for yours.. let's do a 150 per child limit ok?"  Or.. "sorry.. I can't run them to their practices... can you try to find another parent that could do it.. maybe pay them for the trouble?

Good for you! You've been giving this all too much head space. Tell him that you are taking care of yourself and need space from all the drama. He really has to take off his rose-colored glasses.  His kids may not be to blame for how BM behaves and poisons them, but that doesn't make them less difficult to be around. You aren't obligated to twist yourself into a pretzel pretending it's all okay, like he does. 
 

These kids are being heavily damaged by BM and sooner or later they will likely be totally alienated. My SS21 has been so damaged by BM that even DH doesn't like him much. 
 

Just stand up for yourself and your needs. If he doesn't have the empathy to realize how his kids affect you, then you have larger issues.

So, I've watched your frequency of comments really go up lately. You're stressed to the max. You were caring so much. These kids are so tiring. But also look at how kind of you to in the end still be worried about how DH will take it. And the answer is probably not great, but that's OK, those are his feelings, and they're valid. Just as yours are valid. It's hard when a blended family doesn't feel the same way about each other's kids. And there may even be a fighter to you about it. But that doesn't mean you should stuff your feelings down in preference of his. That doesn't mean you should keep that kind of secret in your relationship about how you feel. He also can't do anything to change circumstances if he doesn't know how you feel. He may not like it, but he can also do things that help foster more independence for you or run interference when his kids need something and try to come to you. I personally think it's important that he knows. But that's how I do it in my relationship so naturally I think it's great! also from someone who's been pretty upfront about not liking or wanting more time with the kids, I can say that after a rocky patch with that, it really has been so so much better. He doesn't push me to spend more time together when they're around and stuff like that. We also kind of sketched out what actions I felt I was willing to do and what actions I felt I wasn't. I don't have control over my feelings, but I do have control over my actions. And I was able to be really clear but what I felt fit in my role, and what I wanted to be excused from. But again, his feelings are not more important than yours! You seem really exhausted, and you don't have to be brutal about it, but I think you need to tip your hand a little and let him know how overwhelming this has been for you.

I don't think it is something you sit down and discuss. Just start making yourself and your kids unavailable for the majority of the times when his kids are there. Sorry, the can't join you but they should go enjoy the day together. Start small and  build. It will become habit on both yours parts.

Baring the idiot SKids' and idiot SO's asses by highligthing their behaviors works.  If they choose to not correct their behaviors then calling a locksmith to rekey the locks definately works.

Zero tolerance.  Commit to that and their choice to leave or fix their crap is an effective resolution.

Don't tell  him you can't stand his kids. Tell him that you will no longer tolerate their rude or inappropriate behavior and will not listen to their negative whinning.  Then stand on and defend that hill to the death. In real time  

If they are being negative, tell them you don't want to hear it and to take the negative crap to another room.

Lather.................Rinse.................. Repeat.

My SO is going through a bitter custody battle, too, and it's causing him to slack on the parenting. He's basically kissing the kids' asses because he's afraid they will "choose" BM. The end result of that will inevitably be worsening behavior. I wonder if that's what's happening in your case, too. If so, maybe you can gently remind him that he can't give up his responsibility of raising them to be decent people?

I have one major "rule", and it's no kids in the bedroom where i sleep. SO likes for me to wear just a t-shirt in bed, and one of his sons has seen me naked twice because he was used to the bedroom being the family hangout space. I thought we had exorcised that demon, but last night i went over to sleep and both the 10- and 17-year-old sons were in the bed. He then saw me and said "Boys, get out! Ms. Rumple doesn't like having y'all in the bed!" Gd damn right i don't. I told him how disappointed i was.

I seriously doubt you just "don't like his kids." You don't like their behavior and all the drama associated with their behavior and also the behavior of their Mommy. It's hard to separate all the negativity in your mind and i agree with quietly distancing yourself for a while, but also not allowing your husband to wine and dine them into becoming little monsters just because he wants to be liked more than Mommy.