My disengaging may end my marriage
OMG...an entire thread on disengaging?! I wish I had been on this forum 15 years ago, when I first got married and dss was only 7. Fast forward, and the disrespect from this 22 yo dss blew up in my face in January. I told dh that I cannot participate in any events with dss from this day forward. 5 months ago, dh and I told dss how much he hurt me, and dh assured me that dss would show me how sorry he was. Nope, dss has done NOTHING to show any sincere remorse -- no phone call, no text, no fb message, no card, no NOTHING. I have held several family events (dinners, activities, etc.), and dss was NOT invited. Apparently, dh thought that over time, I would just invite him over. uh, no thank you.
Since dh has been bringing up this issue every week, I told him that the only way the marriage would work is if dh accepted total disengagement and STOP BRINGING IT UP EVERY WEEK. DH told me he couldn't do that, and so now, dh told me he cancelled our vacation next week (it's been 5 years since the two of us went on a vacation together despite the fact that dh has gone on vacations with dss.) ugh. It looks like divorce is imminent. He told me he found a mediator and that since he has vacation time next week, we can get the divorce done then.