Mission of Peace for Myself
I was on a mission today. I decided to give myself a peaceful day.
Yes, it has happened. DH is in the hospital for a long stay. We have all talked about this scenario here on steptalk and how to deal with the adult skids. Well, here I am.
One week ago DH had to be admitted to the hospital and we knew it was going to be a long haul; it has turned out we were correct. After the doctor's informed us of the situation, I "group texted" OSS59, SD57, YSS54, SGS39, SGD32, SIL, and DIL to let them all know their father/grandfather was hospitalized.
Group Text: "DH has been admitted to the hospital. He will spend 4 days in the cardiac unit and then will move to the rehab floor for an undetermined time. The rehab doctor tells us he is in for a long haul and hard work so as to be able to come home.
In rehab they will get him up at 6 am and begin a new schedule each day. They will work him different schedules all day, six days a week, until 5 pm; then he is able to receive visitors and phone calls in his room, after 5 pm until 8 pm daily and can receive visitors and phone calls all day on Sunday's. He will not be allowed to have his cell phone, therefore, you may call him in his room, telephone # __, you can visit him during the hours stated above, in room # _, or at any time you may check with the nurses station on floor #__.
The staff has set stringent rules and he knows he has to work hard with no interruptions, so that he will be able to come home. He is responding well and is feeling better." End of group text.... Each one of them responded "Thank you for letting me know", or "Thank you."; therefore, I know they all received the group text.
I thought this was sufficient; I even included medical information that I thought his kids should know, which I did not include here. First day of rehab (5 days after my group text) SD57 texted DH's phone. "How are you feeling Dad?". Second day, SD text "I haven't heard from you, just checking in." Then SGD32 texted DH's phone, "Hope you are feeling better Grandpa." Then last night, third day of rehab, OSS59 texted, something about a birthday party for a friend's 1 year old. I did not respond to these texts, because I am disengaged and felt I have done my duty as a SM.
What??? Did I say "He will not be allowed to have his cell phone,".....therefore, they know he doesn't have it and they have all the contact information to talk to him, or visit him if they wish.
Ok....I told DH I had group texted them all and they were still texting his cell phone and it was driving me crazy with everything we were trying to accomplish at the hospital. DH ask me to send another "group text" last night, and repeat the first information in short form. Second text: "DH does not have his cell phone and is not allowed to have it in rehab. You may contact him at phone #__, floor #__, and room #___." Of course they all responded letting me know they got the second group text. Then finally I shut DH's cell phone off. I had enough of beep, beep, beep, beep.....
Beginning today, I am on a Mission of Peace for Myself. I sensor all incoming calls on my phone and only answer the calls coming in from the hospital; DH usually calls me of a morning to say good morning. I put DH's cell phone on his night stand, where I can't see the blinking incoming texts. I had the most peaceful day and visited DH twice today at the hospital. We live 10 minutes from the hospital, so I am able to chose my time, depending on his schedule.
Yes, I follow the rules; but I'm guessing SD, OSS, and SGD think the rules do not apply to calling or texting during rehab hours. Maybe they thought I was being the "controller of the cell phone", who knows. YSS54 called DH's room last evening. SGS39 stopped by last evening during visiting hours for 30 minutes to visit.
Just venting here, to reassure the fellow step-parents here, who are trying to totally disengage; it is possible, just a hurddle now and then.
I can't wait for Sunday; I will be home watching the NFL playoff's, with my phone off. SD, OSS, and YSS all live in a neighboring State. Grandkids live here. If SD or SGD have rules, they probably won'te even bother to visit. Just saying, that's their game in the past.