I want to leave again
Last weekend SD13 went off on her stepdad and lost her mind over something that she didn't need to. She was cussing her stepdad, cussing her little brothers and throwing herself on the floor breaking stuff. She lied again stating her stepdad shoved her down. He didn't. Others were there were to witness. Mom came home and called my husband to come and get her but he was out of town. She wanted me to come and get her. I said absolutely not...she is not mine and I do not want those issues at my house when I am the only one home. Fast forward a week and BM, myself and DH are in a group text. DH would never tell BM the issues going on in our house....SD destroying things, hiding food, lying about everything. Now that BM knows because I told her of the issues they have agreed that the kids need to be with BM when DH is working and vice versa. However, it's starting to look like I will be the only one making sacrifices and now I want to leave (again).
This happened a few years ago with SS16 when he was 13 and he lied. We fought for him in court when he claimed his stepdad was abusing him. He tried to run away from BMs and then told me he was afraid to be alone with me. I told him to pack everything because he won't be home alone with me every again. I requested a schedule be made and I didn't care how they had to to do it but I needed as little time with both stepkids as possible.
I am glad we are all on the same page but right now the skids are at my house while DH is working since they are on spring break. BM asked me to bring them out to her when I get off work. She is off work. I told her she needs to get them and she said she would try. I have been anxious and mad all day long at work. I left for the weekend to go visit my sister and the feeling of dread hit me as soon as I pulled into the driveway knowing that I will be with them mostly this week while they are on spring break. BM said she would bring them back on Wednesday. She did give us her work schedule so we could know in advance when we would have them. She doesn't go back to work until Thursday. I want things to stay friendly and on good terms but I am super mad and want to say so many things. I'm willing to sacrifice a regular schedule so that SD13 is not with stepdad for the time being but it doesn't mean I am the only person around these kids have. I just want to leave again and not deal with this crap anymore. I am over the manipulative bratty lying kids. DH will nto open his eyes and realize what his kids are doing to everyone.
Why should he open his eyes
Why should he open his eyes when you are still enabling him to keep them closed by still being there? What kind of discomfort is that ? He won't have a chance if gettIng a clue until it is dumped on him. I say leave and let cards fall where they may. You have been through enough with these two brats.
Stop being their unpaid nanny
Stop being their unpaid nanny. You didn't sign up for that. You are not responsible for their children. Simply refuse to take care of them. If you weren't there,what would they do? They'd hire a babysitter, that's what. Stop being available - you have a life of your own . Their child-minding problems are not yours. Tell them to sort it out because it is not your problem.
Agree
Last week the text said between them "we need to make sure we figure this out as it should not fall on our spouses." YES! I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. So I was stunned on Friday when I learned of when they will be at our house. I've been super rude in the house since I got home yesterday and sent them both a message stating this will not work for me. I was just venting today.
Time to tell your SO that
Time to tell your SO that anything that affects you is to be discussed with you FIRST. He doesn't get to make unilateral decisions. He is not alone. Dammit,he wants to bring his kids into your home without discussing it with you? Was he raised by wolves? Has he no sense of decency?
You did save that text with a
You did save that text with a screen shot so every time they try to dump the skids on you , you send that back ?? That's what I would do, then drive off into the sunset to have a lovely time.
13 and 16 can stay at BM's
13 and 16 can stay at BM's house on spring break.
You said no, but then did it
You said no, but then did it anyway.
Go to your Mom's, Sisters, BFF's. Refuse to be there alone with them, it they are there without DH leave immediately. You think they won't lie on you like they did stepdad?
Why can't they stay home by
Why can't they stay home by themselves while Mom is at work? Are they not trusted to be home alone? My kids are that age too and do just fine by themselves.
If, you dont mind being the
If, you dont mind being the only adult with dh and bm's kids during the day, then fine.
BUT, if you did not agree to this arrangement, it is all stop. Like NOW all stop.
I'd pack a bag and find a place to stay---on DH's dime to boot.
Taking the "what am I gonna do" position, can put you in a very bad situation. Stand UP for yourself.
Either dh stays home, or they are with their mom.
Hang in there and take care of YOU !!!!!!
You have oddly just gotten a
You have oddly just gotten a call from a relative who needs you to urgently come help care for them after an accident..
I would put my foot down with your husband.. they said they wouldn't .. then they did.
Directly say.
DH.. based on situations that have happened with the kids, it was my understanding that the kids would not be left alone with stepparents. what are you going to do this week.. will you be taking off work.. because I will not be at home with them alone.. you know full well that is a risk that we cannot take.
Unless you actually stand up for yourself
Nothing will change. Just more gaslighting. Pack your bags and to a nice hotel you go, roomService pool. Spar.
Tell DH. Your not a free babysitter. He must work out something with BM. Find some place for SK to go to. His kids his problem. Not yours