I feel less stressed
So I have a sd15 who is a completely spoilt, selfish princess who cares of only herself and has no respect for anyone....not even my DH (previous post about an untenable life in teenage step children forum).
After reading all the advice I decided to start to disengage. No more arranging for her friends to come over, no more taking her to appointments, no more letting her use my stuff and more importantly letting DH deal with her as he has major guilt issues and has refused to parent her....choosing instead to play the friend role.
I'm going out to the gym when she gets home as I don't want to be around her. Double the results....lack of stress and an improved body!! Anyway I went last night and she was a brat to her father. He actually punished took her phone off her for a period of time . Not as long as I would have if itihad been my children to me.....but as he's never punished her it's a good start.
I've said to DH that he needs to manage her...I will not be the unpaid help. I will cook for her when I cook for everyone else but that is it....and I'm sticking to it. She asked to borrow my leggings this evening (via text....she wouldn't be polite enough to ask to my face) and I ignored it. She then asked DH to ask me and I said no. dH said he completely understood and relayed my answer. She wasn't happy....probably first time she's been told no by me as I've always said yes for an easy life!! Goodness it felt liberating. Such a small thing, but the impact would be huge.
DH supports me, and although I've not fully disengaged, it's clear to DH and SD15 that I'm no longer a doormat.
Just waiting for the backlash from BM now, as SD15 also managed to like and manipulate her mother too.....although DH has told BM that I will "be taking a step back"
Let's see how it goes and if my resolve stays...