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Husband favors SS

blended4213's picture

DH favors middle SS. He treats him more as a buddy at times. He will still discipline but if this kid does the same thing as his siblings, he will likely get away with it and they won't. It drives me crazy and feels like a power thing, like this kid has too much power and the balance is off. I try to disengage but am struggling with this. I guess if he is going to grow up to be entitled that is not my fault, but it is more it just doesn't feel fair or right and is hard for me to respect DH when he does this. I've mentioned it to DH but he still doesn't get it. Should I just let it go? And if so, how do I not resent this kid?

Dogmom1321's picture

Let it be. At the end of the day it's HIS relationship with his son. Will he walk all over him when he gets older? I'm sure. Will he be self-centered? More than likely. Will he have trouble respecting other adults because dad isn't modeling it? Absolutely. It is your problem - NOPE! As long as you are being respected, I would let it be.

blended4213's picture

I actually just had an incident with this stepchild. He was playing soccer with his younger brother and kicked him when he fell down. Younger SS starts to cry. DH lets this all go. I pull DH aside and say, did you not just see your older son picking on younger son? That is not ok! He says he did not notice plus he usually lets the boys work problems out themselves. Which I see to a certain extent but when one kid is 5 years older and is being physically aggressive, not cool! Then you wonder why the younger kid acts the way he does, whiny and attention-seeking. I told DH, your older kid did this on purpose. He does this frequently on purpose. And he then says, "oh I am sorry little brother" but he is not sorry at all. Little you know what. So, DH talks with him, takes his phone away, and I feel a bit better. But if I did not bring this up, the same crap would be going on. So I feel like I need to step in and help out more..... maybe that's not a bad thing but this is so much more than I expected.