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Finally!!!

Gracefulsilver's picture
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It's over I finally had enough and told SO exactly how SD was acting like a spiteful, criel, selfish, ignorant spiteful POS.  I thank you all for listening to me This is a wonderful resource and I am so happy to have found it.  Last night I finally snapped and told So how SD 's treatment of me was beyond reasonable to expect me to tolerate and that he was allowing her to be this way.  He couldn't handle the truth and refused to communicate at all for 12 hours.  I told him I was sick of being told my emotions could not be discussed and that I am not allowed to speak of the events that caused me to feel that way ever again.  Well, we had never discussed these events and the emotional backlash of what happened.  I told him I was sick of the way his daughter treated me and my children and his expectation that we continue to allow her to treat us this way.  I was scared to leave (I am financially self-sufficient) and was begining to think I was crazy to feel this way.  I have no more tears for this mess called an engagement/relationship.  I feel relieved but sad about it all ending.  I am now facing my fear and moving forward without the mess called SO and his crazy BM and daughter.  I will be taking it one day at a time and healing slowly.

 

Thank You!*bye**dash1**sad*

hereiam's picture

I'm so sorry that it has come to this.

Day to day is all that you can do, and it will get better. You will come to appreciate life without all of the extra stress that your SO and his daughter bring to the table.

You don't have to leave us, though, we are still here for you!

Gracefulsilver's picture

Recently it feels as if he resents the fact that I am self sufficient.  He made a comment "you don't need a man so decide" when I tried to discuss how he was treating his first BM hospital stay as an emergency but couldn't be bothered to spend time with me when I almost died and was in the hospital.  I'm mostly disappointed in myself for putting up with it.

hereiam's picture

Well, now you know what kind of behavior NOT to put up with.

I know what you mean, about being disappointed in yourself for putting up with so much. I did a lot of that before my DH. Every relationship has certain "things" that we put up with, but I know that I am DH's priority and he treats me as such.

You deserve to be a priority, no matter how self sufficient you are. That was just a really stupid comment from him.

Gracefulsilver's picture

I truly think now, that he resented my independance.  I've always been very confident in myself as a parent, a woman, and my ability to succeed professionally.  My downfall is my doubt in myself in a relationship.  Too many times he has shown me I was not a priority.  I need to stop with this "never give up" attitude with relationships and get my own head straight again.

tog redux's picture

I'm sorry this happened, but I give you a ton of credit for having the courage to stand up for yourself and your kids and end the relationship. 

You will feel sad for a while and then feel much less stressed and more peaceful. 

Gracefulsilver's picture

Yes, I'm sad but I feel lighter and relieved.  It's like I finally dumped the heavy load that was on my shoulders.  I'm mostly angry but what's even stranger is that is barely there too.  It's almost like I feel numb and can only feel a reflection of my emotions right now.  I don't like feeling this numb and it's a bit scary.

Gracefulsilver's picture

I really want to cry, yell, or smash something to bits, anything to feel something as anemotion should be felt.  Right now I can't and I know that is not good.  I feel as if I need some type of help that just doesn't exist to reset my brain.

Harry's picture

Why stay in this relationship?  He is doing nothing for you but using you. Using you for his and his kids benefit 

You don't want,,need, this

ndc's picture

I think you're doing the right thing. And it *was* a choice - you chose to ask him to support you emotionally (something you wouldn't need to ask of a good partner) and it was the right choice because it's not much of a relationship if the support only runs one way. It's best to know for certain where you stand and move on. It hurts, but it's far better to be rid of this excuse for a partner and his trainwreck daughter so you can move on to greener pastures.  Be kind to yourself.

Gracefulsilver's picture

I guess it's sad to say that I never had a partner that supported me emotionally at even when asked.  When I asked him he about half the time supported me.  The rest of the time he told me he was too tired or couldn't handle it and ran away.  It's sad that I fell in love with the man he pretended to be rather than the scared little boy that he was.

Siemprematahari's picture

I can imagine how scary it must have been to take this step but please know your future self will thank you endlessly for this. Regardless of how much fear you had you did it anyway. You showed up for yourself and made it known that you respect yourself enough to do what is best for you. You are no longer allowing him to dictate your life and happiness. It's all in your hands, so live your best life and wishing you all the best in this new chapter in your life.

Cheers to new beginnings and creating a life that you so rightfully deserve.