Does it EVER get better?
I have two skids (12 and 10), and one biological (18mnths) with my spouse. We're four years into the marriage. Skids are with us most of the time except every other weekends, some holidays, and week on week off summers. Despite making a massive effort to connect with my skids they seem to have some kind of loyalty to the BD that prevents them from getting to close to me. I don't know how else to describe it but there's a tension in the house that just wears me out. Meals - all discussion is directed at their mother. They predicate everything they say with "Mom". It's like they need to make sure I know they aren't addressing me. For people sitting around a table together and it's "Mom - what's you're favorite ________?". No, SD we don't care what your favorite __________ is so don't bother trying to join the conversation between us and our mom. They'll even direct questions that I'd be best to answer to their mom. Example: I'm cooking dinner and they walk past me and go ask their mom what we're having. Drives me nuts! Greetings/Fairwells - there are none unless I say it first. No "hello SD" No "goodbye SD". Even if I haven't seen them, or won't see them for days. When it come to our BD. They like her and want to play with her sometimes but they will completely ignore me. It's like they refuse to recognize me as a part of the family. That really gets to me. I've had several discussions with my spouse but she doesn't want to hear it. Her awareness level is very low and she tells me I'm being too sensitive. Don't get me wrong, I expected some of this with as a step parent. However, after 4 years in I thought it would get better by now. It makes me want to disengage.