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Disengaging When Delusional Bio Parents Reminisce

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sat, 05/20/2023 - 8:18am

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Disengaging

It really annoys me when bio parents are delusional af and act like their kids are some magnificent special humans that deserve to be on imaginary pedestal they create in their minds. 
 

Example. My soon to be ex was showing me baby pictures of his kids and was like "aren't they so cute?"

It took everything I had to muster a fake "mmmhm. Soooooo cuuuute"

When in reality I have zero emotion for those kids. Those kids aren't cracking the code to cure for cancer, they arent top models, they aren't doing or being anything magnificent in life and a matter of fact to me they're below average in life thanks to their delusional lazy ignorant parents. 
 

What those kids mainly represent to me is:

  • loud and obnoxious 
  • Entitled for no reason
  • Lazy/extra work I have to do cleaning after them 
  • Obese
  • attention-seekers
  • money pits
  • resource snatchers
  • Manipulators in training
  • Domestic t*rrorists 

 

Because of this I have completely disengaged when my soon to be ex tries to reminisce about them, gloating over them, and bragging about how "cute" they were as babies. 
 

Yeah all babies are "cute" mainly only to the people who birth them and are delusional about their value to the world. 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sat, 05/20/2023 - 10:00am

Not soon enough unfortunately 

I just started a new second income to help speed up the process but if worst comes to worse I'm just going to extricate myself and figure it out later. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 05/20/2023 - 11:19am

Environment a kid exists within.

In one environment a kid who doesn't do drugs or get arrested may be a stand out performer. Where in quality family environments this would be a basic no brainer.

Kind of a behavioral and performance theory of family environment relativity.

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sat, 05/20/2023 - 11:29am

Yeah the bar is set pretty low for his kids. 

You have a point that the fact they woke up, rolled out of bed, and schlepped to their low-quality school (where they barely learned anything) holds weight in gold to the parents who are just barely getting by themselves

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 05/20/2023 - 2:07pm

My IL clan is the poster example of what you mentioned.

My DW is amazing.  Yes, she was a single teen mom having SS-30 when she was 16.  She refused to quit HS and attend the knocked up teen GED program. She remained in school, graduated with her class and with honors.  She then left SpermLand to attend university out of state... with SS on her hip.

Ultimately she completed a dual major BS with honors, and MBA with honors, and has a successful career as a CPA.

Her three younger sibs..... nope.  Barely graduated from HS. All three of them did not know if they were going to be allowed to walk at graduation until that morning.  Graduating was a skin of their teeth thing.

All three are in low earning jobs and struggle to get by.  

Her sibs are dublicating the life that their parents have struggled with where my DW refused to subject herself or her child  to those generational poor choices.

Our nieces and our nephew are doing the same things that their GPs and their parents have done.

My SIL prides herself in not having been a single TEEN mom like her big sister. When SIL brings that up I remind that the a 21yr shoudl know better than a 16yo so why is she trying to put herself as a superior example when she is not even in the same league as her sister.  In anything.

Guess who the asshole is?  Not her. Though she is the one who tries to embarrass her sister in front of the family.  My DW is a class lady who does not stoop to the toothless dipshit games.  I just point out the facts.

Making me .... an asshole. 

I am okay with that.