Been with DH for 9 years. 2 years married. Since day 1 BM reminds the kids and DH that I am not their mother. Duh. I'm aware. I've been disengaged for over a year now due to issues with SS15 and his lying and manipulating after he solely lived with us for about a year. And then SD13 lived with us solely for six of those months bc BM said they are causing problems which we didn't have when they were with us. Shortly after they are both manipulative and lying so I said we need a set schedule. I'm done being the one who gets them to school, etc. I completely disengaged.  Neither kid is monitored. SD got more awkward and strange and I found out she was scratching herself with staples, on a weird side of tik tok...said she was gay, then trans, then cis, then whatever else there is. I have zero issue with the sexuality....I have issues with it constantly changing. Even her friends were fed up with her changing constantly when they were pretty well established in their sexuality but all seemed to have a difficult past (come to find out they didn't....it was a weird phase they went through).  BM busted her when I told DH that SD friend spending the night at her moms was her girlfriend. One rule in both houses....you don't get to have your girlfriend or boyfriend spend the night. 

Since then BM is constantly wanting me to keep the kids for her since she is at work and they don't like to be with her husband and vice versa. And that SD should be around a woman when she's working so she can always have a female influence around her. Hahahaha. No lady. Not your babysitter and remember....I'm not a parent. Your manipulative kids can go to their grandmothers.