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Baby steps re-engaging

Cover1W's picture


DH wants me to engage more with the SDs on household basics.
I think it won't go well, BUT I have strict parameters on what I will and won't do and told him the first time he undermines me I'll be done for good.

My first act was to make sure SD14 (in two days she'll be 14) helped me clean the kitchen up - including sweeping the floor. Then she had to bring ALL the dirty dishes in her room up and wash/put them in the dishwasher. Not a peep of complaint and all was done within 30 minutes. In fact, I defended her with DH when he didn't believe she had done something.
So that went without a hitch...we'll see if it continues.

Tonight I'm going to discuss with both of them about cleaning hair out of shower. The drain screen has been super-glued in (really good this time as it's the FOURTH screen I've put in) and they will get a lecture about cleaning up after a shower (hair also gets flung on the shower walls). I will follow up after they get out of the shower and make sure it's cleaned or they will be immediately cleaning it up no matter what they are doing.
DH won't be home when I do this so even better.

Valkyrie's picture

God I wish I had this. Happy to see your DH is respecting your place as his partner and is hearing you. Hope it goes well for you Smile

SugarSpice's picture

what a shame the little princesses now have to stoop to manual labor! poor things!

really. now is the time to learn to contribute to the family house hold.

imo, i would leave the hair in the shower and when it clogs have dh pay for the plumber to fix it.

keep your chin up and dont budge.

Cover1W's picture

I was going that route with the hair, but I had to use their shower because of a medical situation recently and found myself thinking "F if I'm going to second guess using a shower in my own home when I absolutely HAVE to."

Oh, he also started paying for a bathroom cleaning once a month or so as well. So there's that too.

Acratopotes's picture

Nothing wrong to engage again but only if you have the bio parent's back up......

if DH goes back on his word, you smile and say.. DH I'm disengaging again and this time it's for good..