Am I a total fool? How far do you go for love.
I live with my soon to be DH (widower), his 3 SK and our new baby. I adore DH and the kids, but for the last 18 months (we've been together 24) I've been struggling. Ever since living with this family, I've been expected/ told to give up everything (including my paid work) to be cook, cleaner, house wife, taxi driver, mom, school liaison etc for DH and SK. I don't mind doing these things - after all, I joined the family, however Im not coping. I work housewife duties 24/7, I no longer have money, I no longer talk to my friends/ family (DH doesn't like them and family live to far away), DH and SK constantly tell me my housework is rubbish, I don't get to provide input in what we do day to day, and when the SKs are feral (which is often) sometimes I'm expected to parent, and sometimes I'm told to butt out completely. Nothing I do is right and even now nursing a baby (who everyone ignores) I'm told I spend too much time nursing the baby!!
I sound like I'm having a massive whinge, but I'm spending most days in tears because I can't keep up. I'm not having a go at housewives (mum was one and she was the hardest worker ever), but even when I was heavily pregnant, I was chasing up after everyone's mess and I was exhausted.
I get that everyone has their own thing going on with work and school etc but Its like I'm the hired helper. DH and SK forget my birthday, forget Chrissy presents (despite me going all out for theirs) and when I gave birth recently they didn't come until baby was at least 6 hours old. Wtf.
I understand that I've come into a family that has lost someone. There's trauma here, I get it. But at the same time I have given my everything to them. I've brought it up with DH many times but he tells me that this is what family life is all about. Perhaps so, but I have no say in anything which doesn't seem right to me at all.
I look at my BD and I question this life for her. My upbringing was very different so I don't want her to grow up thinking that the way we're living now is ok. I equally don't want to remove her from her dad and siblings... but... come on. When is enough enough? .