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is there a better way?

Momma1987TC's picture

I want to be able to get along better with my ex for my child's sake. But she is so spiteful and hateful and just unwilling to work with me on anything! Several times she has called and needed to move my 2 hours visitation on Thursdays and I have agreed to just add it to the next weekend without a complaint. But yesterday I called to ask to do the same and she rudely said no. I am leaving town on the 26th and will not be able to have to 2 hours on the 27th. I asked if we could do it on Monday, Tuesday, or just add it to the upcoming weekend, and she said if you are unable to make it to your scheduled time it is not my fault and not my place to have to reschedule, you will just have to forfeit your time. Of corse im documenting it for the next time that we go to court to show that she was unwilling to work with me. But I would really love to change this pattern. I feel like I have bent over backward for this woman. I never miss visitation, im never late, I always pay childsupport (which is uncommonly high compared to most ppl's) I don't know what this woman wants out of me beside me to walk away, which isn't going to happen. Right now my daughter is 5, at this rate its going to be a long long road until she is 18.

(this is my wifes' account hence the reason the name is momma1987TC, but I am the husband)

askYOURdad's picture

Do some research on parallel parenting. You cannot force a high conflict person to be reasonable, the best you can do is try and work within their limitations and save your own sanity in the process.

Momma1987TC's picture

I agree that email would be the more reliable form of communication with her, but she tends to not return or not acknowledge even texts. I don't see emails being any more reliable. When documenting a phone call I make sure to write down date, time, and what was said. I try not to add opinion or paraphrase. And I try to leave sarcasm out of the conversation. I try to leave the conversation just the bare of what was said. example : I asked for a change and gave available options, she said no that my time was outlined in the CO and it was not her place to have to reschedule if I couldn't make it. I would just have to forfeit my time.

Momma1987TC's picture

how do u do that? how do u set it up to send you written notifications when it is opened? That would come in so handy. And what if she won't give you an email to correspond to?