My Ex and I split up in 2007. At the time of our divorce we had a very serious discussion about the effect it would have on our BS who was 2 at the time. We both agreed to never use our son against each other. I would never keep him from seeing him, and he would never try to turn him against me or his two older brothers from a previous relationship. We both took the court ordered parenting classes and I think we both actually listened to what they were saying instead of just sitting there with a signed divorce decree in our eyes.
Over the years we've had our disagreements sure, there's been hurt feelings and at one time hatred between us but we never let any of that touch our child. We've both kept our side of the promise we made and over the years we have actually learned to have a friendish relationship. Not friends, but not enemies either. Just two people who want to raise a happy mentally healthy boy who have to come in to contact with each other certain times for the sake of the child.
My DH always thinks there is something going on between us. I haven't touched or wanted to touch that man since a year before we finally split up. I have no feelings of love or lust towards him in any way. He's remarried also and had more children with the NW and he refuses to believe that we get along simply because it's better for 1, our mental well being. 2, and most importantly the well being of our kid. He doesn't text or call me to chat, the only time we talk is if it has something to do with our sons school, health, or sports. Sometimes he will call and ask if he can have on a certain day that isn't his and I don't mind that at all as long as I don't already have plans with BS9.
I do let him know when he has a school function that BS9 wants us both to go to, and I let him know if he has to be taken to the doctor or ER. Quite simply, I treat him as I would want to be treated if he was the CP. My DH says I make BS9 way to available to him, and why to do I make everything easy on Ex when it comes to picking him up and keeping him on nights that aren't his by court papers. I don't know if he really believes we are fooling around or if he is jealous because his BM does every thing in her power to exclude him from their kids lives.
Has this been a problem for any one else?