I'm going through a custody battle with the exhb. He intiated going for full custody. A ploy to impress his latest girlfriend turned fiance.
Long story super short.. our co-parenting has taken an entire nose dive since the two of them have become serious.
We are currently at the point of my older kids go back to dads every Wednesday with a new elaborate gift coming from Amazon.
I previously would get comments on how well behaved they were to now we can't go to our local walmart with them not crying/laying on the ground/hitting me at the register because they didn't get what they wanted.
I have grown sick and tired of it, I'm for one not made of money and two am not raising my kids to be and act like entitled brats as they have been. It's disgusting. So I decided to say something again for the 3rd time. As the last 2 gifts my son alone received were a "diamond covered mens watch" of course it is fake but what 7 year old needs to be sporting such a thing? And a black onyx ring. W.T.F. I'm embaressed for my own child as he is so proud showing these things off and the looks adults and other kids are giving him.
My daughter is no longer wearing ear rings in her ears and is petrified to get them pierced again. We waited until she was 5 because I myself have a bad metal allergy and chances are she did too and I wanted her to be able to address it first. Turns out she does. We bought her the special ear rings, drilled it into her head that she cannot just put random ear rings in her ears, they needed to be 'special' Dads girlfriend purchases her a pack of ear rings and puts in her most favorite pair. I had to dig the back of the ear rings out of my daughters ears. A conversation that we had more than 100 times. Just zip gone.
I texted him and asked him what the point was? Stated the behaviors I have started to see from the kids and how all these over endulging gifts and trips and constant to dos are really affecting them in a negative way. Asked him to think about it. He wasn't raised that way, neither was I, and we previously had the same beliefs on 'earning what you had and knowing the value of a dollar' He stated that he NEVER sees these types of behaviors, I'm jealous, and he will get and do whatever his kids want. I half expected the answer because as I said this is the 3rd time I've tried addressing this, the other two In person and was returned with very demeaning and down talk that I just refuse to speak to him in person anymore because of it. Anyway, we still share a few mutual friends and so I approached the subject with them. Behaviors are there with dad, they have never seen either of them act the way they do now. "Doesn't suprise me he's marrying money now look how his attitude has changed" ahh lovely.
I responded with I knew the kids didn't just express this type of behavior with me as I had asked half expecting that answer in return as it hasn't been the first time I have heard it. No response.. 2 days later I receive a LONG email from "him" clearly NOT from him but from the fiance. Playing a huge victim card, I destroyed the kids life when I broke up our family, they have made it a point to give them a better life, I make him feel like a terrible father, animosity shown towards fiance. - Make me want to bounce my head off the wall. Reading it I was furious, I have not responded and I don't intend to because I am NOT speaking to my ex, his fiance is the one who is composing. I've known him long enough to know 1. animosity is not part of his vocabulary 2. not his structure amongst others. He asked me when picking up the kids last if I received his email and I said yes. He asked if I was going to respond and I told him no.
My attorney is growing very impatient with him and his attorney as his attorney doesn't know what is going on or what the plan is - what is even wanted from going back to court. It has been 4 months now since the case has been opened up and my attorney just today actually spoke with his attorney for the first time now that a trial date has been set. My attorney thinks this entire thing is laughable and told me the contact between him and I will be very limited until he can figure out what if any is their game plan and we actually have something to talk about. He has told me to just hang tight. Today his lawyer provided my lawyer with his pay stubs to see on a CS modification - that was IT! He was asked if this was more fueled towards CS or was he really looking at primary care and his lawyer said he didn't know. My lawyer told him that if he was set on getting primary we are forefitting mediation and going straight to trial. He said he would let him know what was going on. (I don't see this as his attorney being an ass. We are from a VERY small town and I could bet money that his lawyer advised him against this)
As all of this started I reached out to the previous "long" term ex as he stated she just disappeared. "She blocked me and I don't know what happened." I know how he is.. I was married to him and dated him over half of my life.. I figured it wasn't good but I figured I would try my luck to see if she could be to any assistance with the custody. That was a 45 minute conversation of how she fell for me being the evil person and soon realized why I left. "He's a terrible drunk, I got tired of caring for your kids when he had them and he decided to get drunk instead, even at the trampoline park. I had to foot the bill for everything because he barely had enough money for gas. I don't know where he got the money for the lawyer for your divorce because he didn't have it." and the best part "I can only imagine what he has told her and what she is believing I wish you well because he's good at it, I believed it for far too long."
I have the kids signed up and awaiting seats for counseling. They are so booked out due to Covid and the limited office visits. They aren't doing zoom meetings for kids who aren't established patients. He is demanding that I pay for it all because after all I am the reason they need it due to the terrible person I am. Whatever.. we will iron that our later. Our CO is 25/75. As I said worry about that later.
The last interaction we all had was 2 weekends ago my son had a wrestling tournament (resulted in the previously mentioned ring) I walked in and called him to see where they were, when he was wrestling, I was ignored. I finally spotted them and walked over and his fiance threw her arm in the air waving like we were the best of friends. I just looked at her like she was a crazy woman. Seems as if they are just the same in bullshit appearance to the public eye. Not playing. My last interaction was with him on the phone as I had to call the kids regarding school. She wasn't there, he talked to me as if we were the best of friends, I ended the conversation. Save it.
Any advice on how to deal with that?